Heartbroken 💔

 
Exactly one week ago, my heart literally broke in two, when my beautiful Godmother passed peacefully away at home.

For some people Godparents are a title only, but mine really were a part of my family. Families are complicated but my Auntie Gladys was in its simplest terms my dads cousin. Although 14 years older than my dad they were brought up together, and she became my aunt and other than my mam the person that I was closest to.

How can I describe her to a stranger? She was a small woman, but she was probably one of the strongest people that I've ever met. She survived several bouts of cancer, undergoing numerous surgeries, as well as several broken bones, and other health issues over that last few years, as well as coping with the loss of her husband for over 60 years, 9 years ago.

She loved teddy bears, baking in her kitchen (her cheese scones, and Welsh cakes, or griddle scones as we call them up north, were chefs kiss!), knitting, crocheting, and embroidering tapestries, holidays (she went to Disney Florida for the first time in her 70's), and shopping!

My Godmother was the stereotypical shopaholic nothing made her happy then going round a shop - be it a shopping centre, a garden centre or a gift shop she was never happier than when she was in a shop. She loved her Boundary Mills visits, and our trips there together with her friend, will now be some of my most cherished memories.

She was a very feminine woman who very, very rarely wore trousers, I think she would have preferred it if I was more of a frilly dress fan, but she was always excited to see what I'd been buying, even if she wasn't a fan of all my ear piercings.

She would have been 95 next month and whilst her passing came as no great surprise, it doesn't make it any easier. Her biggest wish was to die at home and thankfully the NHS, along with Marie Curie, and some amazing family member allowed that happen.

Due to circumstances beyond out control we were unable to see her straight away when she came out of hospital but we managed to see her last Tuesday. There was no recognition or communication from her, she was sleeping and peaceful but I really do hope that she could hear us or at least feel our presence. There were other people there so I didn't get to spend anytime alone with her but I kissed my fingers and placed them gently on her cheek and whispered sweet dreams to her, and then we left.

A few hours later we got the call to say she'd gone, peacefully at home exactly as she'd wanted. I think we were the last of the northern based family members to see her, so I really think she'd waited for us to say goodbye.

I'll miss her more than I think even she'd realise, she had such a warm, giving generous personality, someone that I knew I could rely on for anything, she might not have always understood me but she was always there no matter what.

She's now reunited with her beloved husband, as well as my dad and my grandmas, and I hope wherever she is they have a few clothes shops for her to enjoy x 

Losing 3 family members, and 2 much loved pets in 3 years has been so tough on my mental and physical  health, my mam has also been unwell so everything really has been a bit of a struggle bus. Thank you to everyone who has commented on.my update on any of my other social media posts, I really do appreciate every single one of them - it's friends and family that have really kept me sane lately.

I have stuff to do and obviously stuff going on, but I really need a distraction so I'm hopefully going to be posting a few bits here and then mainly catch up's and updates but if you can be patient with me I would really appreciate it at the moment. I know 2025 has been rubbish blogging wise but I'm not giving up just yet xx Thanks again for your support x