Collaborative / Partnered Post - How To Feel More Beautiful And Improve Your Self Confidence In 2024*

Hey Guys, Welcome to my first post of 2024, so I guess I should start off by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. I really hope that it's a good one for all of us, and that this is the year when all of our dreams start to come true.

Whilst I'm not a huge believer in new years resolutions and putting unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve the impossible, I do always try to set myself a few achievable goals, and tasks that I would like to achieve not just over the next 12 months, but over the course of my life in general, and some of the biggies for this year, are to try and love myself a bit more, to care for myself a bit more, and to get a bit of self confidence and self belief back.

For as long as I can remember I've suffered from low levels of confidence. You name it I've felt it, from shyness, and anxiety to extreme self loathing - self confidence has always been an issue for me. The sad thing is that I'm not alone in that a lot of people struggle with low levels of confidence, but whilst I don't think the feeling ever completely goes away, there are a few things that you can try to boost your self esteem and feel better about yourself in 2024.

Dress Well

This sounds like such a simple one but it really can make all the difference. When your feeling rubbish about yourself it's all too tempting just to just dress down and to not really try, but the way you dress can have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you as well. I know it can be hard when your lacking confidence in your appearance to wear even your 'safest' outfit, but as I've said before spending time working out your own personal style, and finding clothes that fit you, and flatter you, can really make a difference, so grab the bull by the horns, own your look, and if you really want to give yourself a little self confidence boost take a little peek into your underwear drawer.

Whilst people generally won't see your underwear ;) it doesn't mean that you shouldn't use it  as a tool, to make yourself more confident, more put together and even a little bit bit sexier. Try out different types of womens briefs to see which ones you would feel confident and comfortable wearing, and get a properly fitted bra, buy yourself some cute matching sets, for that put together feel, and buy yourself fun pieces, that make you smile - even if no one ever sees it, and your just wearing something cute or matching under a comfy t-shirt and some leggings around the house, as long as you feel comfortable, and cute that's all that matters.

Therapy 

Okay, from something effective but frivolous, to something a bit more serious, therapy or counselling. It might not be the first thing you would consider when you're looking at issues with self confidence but issues with self esteem and self belief can often have quite deep rooted causes. In my case it's probably down to childhood bullying, and insecurities about my facial paralysis, but for you it could be down to past relationships, or different issues from childhood, What ever the reason talking to somebody can really help you deal with an issues that you may have, and help you move forward. A lot of people feel uncomfortable and ashamed for reaching out to a professional but this shouldn't be the case, and we really need to start breaking down that stigma, and getting the help that we need.

Posture 

This next one sounds a little strange, but it's something that I definitely need to work and that is posture.

To be honest this could be a goal in itself, but when you think about it your posture has a huge impact on your self confidence and on how you appear to others around you. If you have poor posture, and you're hunched over, trying to make yourself look small, then you’re going to look unsure of yourself and uneasy, and you're going to disappear into the crowd. People around you, especially those in the workplace or in a professional setting, will immediately assume that you don’t have confidence in what you are saying or what you are doing. This could not only have a negative impact on your professional life, but also in personal relationships. Posture is actually one of the easiest things to improve, there are loads of videos, exercises, and instructions online for you to try. Just throw in a few yoga or pilates sessions for the new year, and you could see some results in a couple of weeks.

Skin Treatment 

One of the key reasons people lack self confidence (holds my hands up!), is that they don't like what they see in the mirror, and to be honest that's a difficult one to remedy but even if you're not a fan of what you see, there are things that you can do and that you can control to help give your self confidence a boost. A big part of enhancing your natural beauty is looking after your skin. If your skin doesn’t look great and looks rough, or dull, or shiny, then it’s always going to impact how you feel about yourself. Fortunately in this day and age, a good skincare routine can make all the difference. For example, like so many of us if your skin in a bit drier at this time of year, then you might want to switch up your moisturising routine. As we get older, our skin finds it harder to retain moisture so our collagen depletes leaving our skin drier and slacker, adding in a serum or two, a facial oil or even a slightly heavier moisturiser could make all the difference, improving your skin tone and texture, and your self esteem at the same time.

So if you look in the mirror and your skin doesn't quite look how you want it too, visit a salon or a beauty counter, have a read of some blogs, or a look on social media, or in extreme cases see a dermatologist, and either switch up your current routine, or create a new skincare routine from scratch. I can't guarantee that you'll love your reflection but even as a worst case scenario, it will give you one less thing to dislike.

Improving your self confidence and self esteem won't happen overnight, but making the best of yourself, and tackling some of those underlying issues, can definitely play a part. I know it's hard but please remember you are a fabulous person, and you are as good as anyone else out there, you have as much right as anyone else to do what you like, wear what you, and to be heard and don't let anyone ever tell otherwise x Do you have any hints and tips for improving self confidence? If you do please let me know in the comments x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post

A Ray Of Sunshine On A Blustery Autumn Day

What I Wore

High Neck Black T-Shirt - Simply Be

Floral Scarf - Isle At Edinburgh Woollen Mill - EWM

Black Converse Ox Low Tops

Dorothy Perkins - DP Curve - Yellow Elastic Back Ankle Grazer Trousers 

I don't post a lot of outfit posts but when I do I try to always take something away from the experience, and this particular one, although quite boring and insignificant to some ties together a couple of recent blog posts, one which was about taking your summer wardrobe into Autumn, and the other which all about ways in which to boost confidence and self belief (read my posts here and here)

These trousers were really a summer buy from Dorothy Perkins Curve line, when I bought them back in April / May time, and whilst I've worn them a couple of times with both a white top, and a white shirt, and a chunky yellow necklace, I can honestly say that I've never felt completely comfortable in them, I don't mean fit wise, I mean more mentally comfortable, and confident.

I've seen so many people look amazing in similar coloured pants, but on me they were just too much, they were too bright and they drew too much attention to the worst parts of my body. So like a lot of items lately I put them back in the wardrobe and reverted back to my "safer", more conventional, darker pants.

When I was putting together that post on Autumn fashion though, these trousers immediately came to mind. Drawing on the colours of the Autumn leaves, yellows and mustard's are pretty much staple shades at this time of year, and whilst I'd originally just seen the trousers as a summer season wonder, there was no reason why I couldn't try wearing them again in the colder months.

So instead of teaming them with lighter, more summery tops, I switched it up a bit and teamed them up with a real wardrobe staple, a plain black t-shirt, some black and white low top Converse, and just to soften the look, and to get a bit more wear out of it, a very summery floral scarf, that contained similar mustard yellow tones.

Not only that but I ditched the mirror selfie and I persuaded Mummy Lou to take a few outfit pictures for me. As much as I love clothes and I love fashion I've never been comfortable with having my photo taken, I don't know whether it's down to my facial paralysis but I've always needed to be in control of how people see me, but sometimes you need to face your fears and do it anyway - after all she's my mam - she's there to love and support me, and to lift my confidence.

So we went outside, dodged the rain showers and found a great place to shoot that was full of character, and looked positively dreary next the sunshine yellow of my trousers, and we shot a few pics, and do you know what? I don't hate them, and I certainly don't hate the trousers.

Obviously there are things that I would change about myself, and my appearance, but hey this is me at the moment, curves and all, and I think I need to try and love what I see in the mirror a little bit more. Do you know what though? I do think I'm rocking those trousers, so much so in fact that I ended up wearing them for an appointment and a shopping trip.

I don't think that I'm ever going to have the supermodel esq confidence that a lot of bloggers, You Tubers and Instagrammers seem to have when it comes to posing and posting outfits, but we aren't all the same, and hopefully in time I will become more comfortable posting pictures, and sharing my style with you, and at the same I hope that with every picture I'll learn to love and accept myself just that little bit more x  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this - how do you learn to love yourself, and how can you improve your own body image? Let me know in the comments x

Collaborative / Partnered Post - A Few Ways To Help Boost Your Self Confidence And Self Belief*

When people meet me for the first time, a lot of them think that I'm bristling with self confidence I talk 20 to the dozen and generally seem quite comfortable in my own skin, but scratch a little bit below the surface, and they'd soon see that a lot of the times it's just an act. I've never had a lot of self belief or self confidence, I was a notoriously shy child, and even one of my best friends used to call my mouse girl when we first met at university. It's only the last 10 - 15 years that I've actually started to feel comfortable in my own skin, and as a result I've developed a more confident and positive outlook.

Self confidence and self belief, though isn't a fixed think. Even people who consider themselves as bubbly, positive and happy human beings, can sometimes have a crisis of confidence. This could be because of a certain trigger like your overbearing boss at work telling you that you are underachieving. It could be that you feel inferior to all of the super toned individuals in the gym, or those gorgeous people on Instagram, or it might be because you are generally feeling down and you can’t pinpoint any real cause

Although it seems like such a minor thing, our confidence levels are crucial to help us to maintain a positive outlook on life. When you're feeling confident and positive, you can feel more empowered to take on life’s challenges. When you're lacking in self confidence you can be unwilling to try new things, and to try and achieve your goals for fear of failure, if you're not feeling great confidence wise at the moment, there are a few general ways in which you give you self confidence a boost.

Get Active

While those bronzed bodies and gym bunnies may be preventing you from feeling comfortable on the treadmill or having fun in your favourite Zumba class, there is generally no excuse to remain sedentary. Instead, consider heading outdoors and having some fun jogging around your local park or partaking in a bike ride. If you don’t fancy going it alone, consider roping in a pal to keep you company. This can make exercising a more social activity that you can enjoy with friends.

Being outside will also help you to soak up some much needed Vitamin D (something which I and a lot of people in the UK lack!) which can help regulate your body clock, and help you to sleep better. Natural sunlight is a natural mood lifter so try to get outdoors for at least thirty minutes every day. This is especially important if you work from home or if you have a desk job.

Alas being active and getting fit isn't something that I can do that much of, jogging is a distant memory for me, but even I can manage a little walk around the block or a couple of minutes walk everyday enjoying my surroundings, and experiencing nature, so what if it's raining, grab and umbrella and a waterproof jacket, believe me you'll feel so much better if potentially a little bit soggy when you come back. Changes don't have to massive but even making tiny changes to your daily routine can make a small difference to your mental health.

Image

I firmly believe that my own self confidence issues boil down to my facial palsy, although I've learned to accept myself now, bullying, and name calling can really effect how you see yourself. In this day and age, of social media perfection, more and more of us are self conscious about their looks and appearance. The first thing I would say to that is that you're perfect the way you are please believe that - but if aspects of your appearance are causing to lack confidence in social situations then don't be frightened to look for solutions If you suffer from a condition like acne, all is not lost. While the scarring on your face may make you feel embarrassed or anxious, you could head to your doctor and ask about new drugs like erythromycin. After taking this drug for six weeks, you could see a huge reduction in your acne. There is a wealth of information about Zineryt that is the brand of choice for many medical professionals. Whilst my acne wasn't horrendous as a teenager I did end up seeing my GP about it - I promise they won't dismiss your concerns, and they will help you find a solution.

As someone whose been a size 10 and a size 22, I know all about how weight can effect how you feel about yourself. To be honest probably had as many days being self conscious about my body at both ends of the weight spectrum but if you're really unhappy with your body shape, then again seek professional help. If you want to lose a few pounds though, then it's easy enough to make some small changes to your diet. I'm not big on the whole diet and denial thing, eat those "naughty things" in moderation. and try and swap the sugary chocolate snacks and saturated fat laden meals for more fruit, green leafy vegetables and lean meat and fish. Forget about having to rely on meat and go vegan or if that's to much for you, go meat free for a couple of days each week to maximise your antioxidant intake and to help boost your mood. With a new eating plan, you might be able to lose a few pounds which might help boost your self confidence, and improve your body image

As I said before body image has probably taken a battering since the emergence of social media. Instagram is the most visual of these platforms with plenty of perfectly filtered selfies and lifestyles appearing in your feed every day. Even though you know that these photographs are often faked by a spot of Amaro or Holga filtering, you can’t help but feel envious or inferior. While Instagram aims to be aspirational, it has morphed into a damaging tool that has a negative impact on people’s health. Instead of scrolling through your social media feeds for hours on end, take a detox. While difficult to begin with, you can swap your screen time for something more beneficial in the real world. Head for coffee with pals, go and see a movie or enjoy relaxing with a long hot soak in the tub, or do what I've done and unfollow people who make you miserable. Remember a lot of people only post what they want you to see, you don't see them sitting in front of the TV, eating cereal with no make up on, and wearing a past it's best jumper covered in cat hair. People curate their images to create an image of perfection, they will have a their bad skin, untidy house, rubbish days the same as you do. Keep this thought in your head take a step back and I can guarantee you'll start feeling happier better about yourself, and a bit more confident to boot.

Do Something New

As the old saying goes a change really is as good as a rest. Switch your routine up and if you fancy trying something new, be brave and go for it. By taking the plunge and doing something that is naturally a little scary, you can boost your self confidence. If you fancy trying out for the local ladies football team, go for it. If you want to learn the piano, book yourself in for a taster session. And if you want to have a go at a cake decorating course, enrol yourself in an evening class. There are so many evening classes at local colleges, and a lot of local community centres offer everything from yoga classes, to writers groups and art classes. 

There are plenty of things that you can do to help increase your confidence levels, don't let fear rule your life, if you want to do something do it. Yes it can be scary going into a room of people you don't know for the first time, but meeting new people and making new friends helps to extend your social circle and it also might help you to learn a new skill. Try something new, meet new people, and improve your self esteem.

Travel

To say that heading overseas and partaking in a spot of solo travel can be daunting, is an understatement, and it's would be a huge thing to do for the majority of people to do. However, it needn’t be, and lots of people, are now holidaying alone, enjoying their own company, and finding out a little bit more about themselves along the way. Travelling to another part of the world could see you immersing yourself in new cultures and trying new cuisine. Being somewhere totally new and speaking a different language forces you to rely on your own wits and you will find yourself in unfamiliar situations. Working out your own itinerary and solving problems on route will help boost your self confidence.

Take some holiday that you are owed from work or ask for an unpaid sabbatical so you can embark on your own wanderlust adventure. Think about the sort of destinations you would like to visit. Do you want to head to Iceland to look for the Northern Lights, or perhaps you’d like a physical adventure and trekking the Inca Trail is more up your street, or maybe you’d rather enjoy the beach life of Goa or the Maldives and a relaxing break is just what the doctor ordered. Whatever it is that you want to do and whatever vistas you want to see, ensure that you bite the bullet and get yourself booked on a flight. Book your accommodation and plan your travel to ensure that you can enjoy the trip of a lifetime. You will return oozing with self confidence, but if that's a tiny bit much for your there lots of travel companies that specifically focus on lone travellers, so you could explore somewhere new and meet new friends at the same time.

Self confidence is a funny thing, even a tiny comment from an acquaintance, or a message from someone online, or even a picture that we see online, can change how we feel about ourselves - a positive comment and our confidence soars, something negative, and a cycle of self loathing begins or is intensified. Whilst some of the things that I've mentioned can help you improve out self belief and self confidence. It's important to start with you - read these words, and remember them - you are as good as anyone else, you look amazing, you have an amazing personality, and you are a great person, don't ever let anyone make you feel anything less than what you are x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post