Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents. Show all posts

Tuesday, 29 August 2023

When Life Gets In The Way - Family Illness, Covid, Mould, Guttering And A Poorly Cat*

I once made a pledge on this blog to stop apologising for disappearing, repetition and lack of posting, and whilst i guess this is a bit of an apology (what can I say I'm one of those people who always says sorry even when it's not my fault!), it's more of an update and explanation as to what's been going on in my life over the last month or so and why I've been neglecting the blog.

With several bereavements and my own health struggles, it's safe to say that I'd already ranked 2023 pretty highly on the shitty year index, but throw in what's been going on over the last couple of month and it's probably at the top of the pile!

If you follow me elsewhere on social media (updated links in the sidebar if you don't), then you'll know that my mam has been pretty poorly. She was admitted into hospital towards the end of July with the same old, same old, some sort of infection, that course through her body leaving her with a raging fever and unable to walk. They did the usual, blasted her with antibiotics only this time she suffered a reaction to one of them so they had to switch it and start again, after a couple of days she was heading in the right direction, and I was preparing to go in and see her and then everything went wrong.

As is common with especially elderly people she suffered a spell of infection related delirium and confusion. To say I wouldn't wish that 24 hours or so on anyone would be an understatement. She called me and various family members multiple times alternating between crying and ranting, from seeing things that weren't there, to having no idea of where she was, to refusing treatment and not letting the hospital staff touch her - it was horrible and utterly heartbreaking  I really can't thank the staff and University Hospital Of North Durham, and my family and friends enough, and of course everyone who replied to my Instagram stories on the day. I spoke to several nurses and one doctor over the course of the day and they assured me that once they got a handle on the infection she would improve, and thankfully that's what happened. I didn't speak to her again until the next lunch time and whilst she was still confused she had much more of a grip on reality, and was cooperating with staff again, and by the time I spoke to her again that night she was nearly back to normal, although completely mortified with how she'd behaved. 

Thankfully she continued to get better, well at least until she caught covid! They weren't 100% sure if that was the cause of the original infection or whether she caught it whilst she was in hospital but thankfully bar a hacking cough, distorted taste and smell, her oxygen levels remained good, and after 11 days in hospital she was allowed home. It took her another week to test negative, and about another 3 to get back up to speed but she's doing well, she's been given some more medication for bone strength, and the hospital have been in touch with social services to get some hand rails put up outside to help with her mobility and access to the drive, and the car.

Obviously this was a major mental screw up for me, it's bad enough having one relative in hospital at once but at my godmother was also admitted in the same week, and whilst she was released after a few days it was really tough for me. On that Sunday I really felt as though I'd lost my mum, to be scared to speak to her because at that moment in time she was as far away from her normal self as it was possible to be was terrifying - thankfully as I stay I had some support at the time but dealing with it afterwards in my own head has been tough and I'm not going to lie I've struggled - but as my mam says I'm a lot stronger than I think I am, and at last I think I'm beginning to realise that.

With my mum being poorly and getting some much needed rest, I've obviously had to step it up and take on all of the tasks that need to be done on a daily basis in order to keep a house running smoothly, so given that my physical and mental health sap so much of my energy as it is, I've pretty much been running on empty, but you know why not kick someone when there down!

For a little while I'm been smelling a sort of musty smell in my bedroom, sort of like damp, so eventually admitted defeat and investigated only to find a patch of mould on the wall - arghhhhhh! so everything to be moved to I could treat it and if you have any mould in your house be it on the walls, or bathroom tiles then you need to get this stuff from Amazon, it makes your house smell like a swimming pool but it was gone without any scrubbing or effort in less than an hour, and my shower tiles are now gleaming as well! We knew we had an issue with the guttering so we got someone out to have a look at it and it's much worse than we anticipated - it's leaked under the fascia and into the cavity wall, and the roof joists hence the patches of mould in various other rooms in the house - it never rains but it pours literally! Bye bye several grand grrrr!

Oh yes, I almost forgot, the title of this post also mentioned a poorly cat, well if all of that wasn't enough, Charlie developed some sort of infection in his gums, so after a few days of hiding, hissing, and not eating, a antibiotic jab, and a course of oral anti-inflammatories, and antibiotics, and some special dental food, and a pretty little vet bill, he's thankfully eating and back to his fluffy self - phew!

So hopefully that explains my absence, I've been so mentally and physically drained that I just wasn't up to blogging, or doing pretty much anything else come to think about it, but (touches every bit of wood in the house and crosses my fingers very tightly!) hopefully the stars are realigning and things are returning to normal or whatever normal is, so I should be able to start getting a few more posts up, starting with an empties catch up later this week x 

Again a huge thank you to all of you who've contacted me on social media over the last month or so and thanks again for sticking with me x 

*This Post Contains An Affiliate And A Non Affiliate Link

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Life Lately - You Are Stronger Than You Think

2018 YOU SUCK! and that dear readers is an understatement - I went AWOL and yet again I have not but several good reasons!

Over the last 10 days are so things have got progressively shitter in LouLouLand, it all started off a week past Monday when my MacBook wouldn't start up, basically exactly the same problem that caused me to take into get repaired way back in January, even though they won't admit it officially High Sierra is very glitchy on certain MacBook Pro Models! Thankfully the staff at my local Genius bar managed to get going again with only minimal data loss. Lesson to self - back up, back up and keep backing your data ! I went and bought an external hard drive and ever since then if I've changed anything, I've a backup just in case, I paid less than £70 but it's not so much about the money as the peace of mind.

I've was just getting into the groove, downloading things from my Cloud and installing a few programmes and apps, then bang, one of the worst things that could probably happen did!

On the early hours of Thursday morning my amazing was taken ill, I called an ambulance and she was immediately blue lighted into our local accident and emergency unit. I'm not going to go into too much detail but she spent around 4 hours having all different types of scans and tests before she was finally admitted to award. She's feeling a little bit brighter now but as yet we don't really know when she'll be coming home.

The NHS gets a lot of criticism, and the majority of it in my eyes is very unfair, so I just want to put this out there - Every person who both myself and my mum have came into contact with since last Thursday from the initial emergency handlers, to the paramedics, to the doctors, specialists, nurse, porters, and health care assistants has been amazing and both kind, and compassionate. The NHS isn't perfect for a lot of reasons but it's something that we in the UK should be immensely proud of and we all should be fighting to maintain the whole concept of "free" health to anyone that needs it. I don't think that some people realise just how important it is until they or some they love needs medical help.

So things have been pretty stressful, I've had so much to do, and I haven't been sleeping that well, and then low and behold something else went wrong! My heating broke! which meant no hot water and no heating. I don't usually feel the cold but maybe with being slightly in shock I was absolutely freezing! Thankfully we have an electric radiator upstairs, and an electric shower so I managed to just about keep warm, but I knew I'd have to do something so I ended up having to call out the heating engineer via my mams home service plan and by Sunday afternoon heat was restored.

I now it probably sounds like a little, and maybe silly thing to some but sorting out the heating was a really big deal for me. Maybe it's because of my illness I don't really deal with that sort of stuff that's my mam's domain and always has been even when my dad was alive. It's made me realise though that sooner rather than later I need to stop relying on people quite so much, and I need to start adulting properly. 

I'm an emotional person, and I wear my heart on my sleeve, I lack self belief, and self confidence and I've spent a lot of time think that I'm useless in every sense of the world but in the last 7 days especially I'm starting to think that maybe that isn't quite the case. Sometimes you need things to really test you before you realise just how strong you actually are.


My mam has always said that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for and at long last maybe I think she's on to something. It seems as though I've faced challenges and obstacles from day 1 with some health issues at birth, my facial nerve paralysis, bereavement, family illness and of course with my own current health problems, but lets be honest who hasn't had to overcome some sort of obstacles in their lives. As the saying goes what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and personally I'm coming through every test and challenge, no matter how big or small, a stronger and more resilient person.

Things are shitty and we all wobble occasionally or a lot, but we all know that Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and after a crappy 10 days or so I'm still standing and although I've cried until I was sick, and really wobbled on occasions I'm pretty proud of myself with how I've dealt with everything that's happened. I was kicked hard but I stayed sensible and level when I needed to.

One of my biggest fears is being alone, and being an only child and a single lady heading into middle age being alone at some point could be a reality for me but lets be honest the majority of us are never completely alone. Okay, I might not have the type of relationship that you'd have with a partner, or that I currently have with my mum in the future, but from what I've found there are always people out there who have your back no matter what.

The love and support I've had from some of my closest friend, some of my online friends and from some of my family members over the last week has made all the difference in the world. Fine I'll always want a cuddle close relationship, but sometimes a simple text or a phone call can make everything just that little bit better in an instant.There will always be people who don't come through for you and whilst that hurts for a little while, from now on I'm more concerned with the people that care about me.

I can't say what the next few weeks, months or years hold for me but as I head towards a big birthday in a couple of weeks, I'm going to try and deal with whatever comes my way with a different mindset. Yes, I might be hurting, I might feel pain, I might laugh and I might cry but I KNOW that I'm a strong person underneath and I'll deal with whatever happens, when it happens, in the best way that I can.


I want to thank you for all the messages that I've had on my other social media channels, I really do appreciate all of your good wishes and I'm sure that my mam will as well x I was going to take a blogging break till all of this goes away but I've decided not to, I need something to take my mind of things so I'll still be posting as and when, and hopefully I should get at least one post by the weekend x Thanks again x