Collaborative / Partnered Post - How To Feel More Beautiful And Improve Your Self Confidence In 2024*

Hey Guys, Welcome to my first post of 2024, so I guess I should start off by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. I really hope that it's a good one for all of us, and that this is the year when all of our dreams start to come true.

Whilst I'm not a huge believer in new years resolutions and putting unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve the impossible, I do always try to set myself a few achievable goals, and tasks that I would like to achieve not just over the next 12 months, but over the course of my life in general, and some of the biggies for this year, are to try and love myself a bit more, to care for myself a bit more, and to get a bit of self confidence and self belief back.

For as long as I can remember I've suffered from low levels of confidence. You name it I've felt it, from shyness, and anxiety to extreme self loathing - self confidence has always been an issue for me. The sad thing is that I'm not alone in that a lot of people struggle with low levels of confidence, but whilst I don't think the feeling ever completely goes away, there are a few things that you can try to boost your self esteem and feel better about yourself in 2024.

Dress Well

This sounds like such a simple one but it really can make all the difference. When your feeling rubbish about yourself it's all too tempting just to just dress down and to not really try, but the way you dress can have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you as well. I know it can be hard when your lacking confidence in your appearance to wear even your 'safest' outfit, but as I've said before spending time working out your own personal style, and finding clothes that fit you, and flatter you, can really make a difference, so grab the bull by the horns, own your look, and if you really want to give yourself a little self confidence boost take a little peek into your underwear drawer.

Whilst people generally won't see your underwear ;) it doesn't mean that you shouldn't use it  as a tool, to make yourself more confident, more put together and even a little bit bit sexier. Try out different types of womens briefs to see which ones you would feel confident and comfortable wearing, and get a properly fitted bra, buy yourself some cute matching sets, for that put together feel, and buy yourself fun pieces, that make you smile - even if no one ever sees it, and your just wearing something cute or matching under a comfy t-shirt and some leggings around the house, as long as you feel comfortable, and cute that's all that matters.

Therapy 

Okay, from something effective but frivolous, to something a bit more serious, therapy or counselling. It might not be the first thing you would consider when you're looking at issues with self confidence but issues with self esteem and self belief can often have quite deep rooted causes. In my case it's probably down to childhood bullying, and insecurities about my facial paralysis, but for you it could be down to past relationships, or different issues from childhood, What ever the reason talking to somebody can really help you deal with an issues that you may have, and help you move forward. A lot of people feel uncomfortable and ashamed for reaching out to a professional but this shouldn't be the case, and we really need to start breaking down that stigma, and getting the help that we need.

Posture 

This next one sounds a little strange, but it's something that I definitely need to work and that is posture.

To be honest this could be a goal in itself, but when you think about it your posture has a huge impact on your self confidence and on how you appear to others around you. If you have poor posture, and you're hunched over, trying to make yourself look small, then you’re going to look unsure of yourself and uneasy, and you're going to disappear into the crowd. People around you, especially those in the workplace or in a professional setting, will immediately assume that you don’t have confidence in what you are saying or what you are doing. This could not only have a negative impact on your professional life, but also in personal relationships. Posture is actually one of the easiest things to improve, there are loads of videos, exercises, and instructions online for you to try. Just throw in a few yoga or pilates sessions for the new year, and you could see some results in a couple of weeks.

Skin Treatment 

One of the key reasons people lack self confidence (holds my hands up!), is that they don't like what they see in the mirror, and to be honest that's a difficult one to remedy but even if you're not a fan of what you see, there are things that you can do and that you can control to help give your self confidence a boost. A big part of enhancing your natural beauty is looking after your skin. If your skin doesn’t look great and looks rough, or dull, or shiny, then it’s always going to impact how you feel about yourself. Fortunately in this day and age, a good skincare routine can make all the difference. For example, like so many of us if your skin in a bit drier at this time of year, then you might want to switch up your moisturising routine. As we get older, our skin finds it harder to retain moisture so our collagen depletes leaving our skin drier and slacker, adding in a serum or two, a facial oil or even a slightly heavier moisturiser could make all the difference, improving your skin tone and texture, and your self esteem at the same time.

So if you look in the mirror and your skin doesn't quite look how you want it too, visit a salon or a beauty counter, have a read of some blogs, or a look on social media, or in extreme cases see a dermatologist, and either switch up your current routine, or create a new skincare routine from scratch. I can't guarantee that you'll love your reflection but even as a worst case scenario, it will give you one less thing to dislike.

Improving your self confidence and self esteem won't happen overnight, but making the best of yourself, and tackling some of those underlying issues, can definitely play a part. I know it's hard but please remember you are a fabulous person, and you are as good as anyone else out there, you have as much right as anyone else to do what you like, wear what you, and to be heard and don't let anyone ever tell otherwise x Do you have any hints and tips for improving self confidence? If you do please let me know in the comments x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post

Collaborative / Partnered Post - Self Care And Self Healing - How To Deal With Stress And Trauma*

Coping with the negative emotions that come after experiencing some kind of stress or trauma can be really difficult. Whilst physical pain can often be controlled quite quickly, dealing with your emotions takes time, and whilst some feelings, especially those you experience after bereavement, never truly go away, the first step towards any sort of healing is to properly acknowledge and deal with what's happened. If you’ve recently found yourself in a distressing or stressful situation and are looking for ways to achieve a more confident and positive outlook, here are a few tips and ideas to help you deal with what ever the world throws at you.

Image Source - Pexels

Professional Support Through Therapy

One of the biggest ways I've always found to deal with stressful and traumatic events is to talk about it -  I'm lucky to have supportive family and friend but sometimes that either isn't possible or it isn't appropriate. If the stress and emotion that you feel is getting out of hand and you feel as though you simply cannot deal with it alone, then it may be an idea to seek professional support through therapy with a counsellor or psychologist. There is so much stigma around seeking medical help for mental health issues, but there shouldn't be. Don't be frightened to consider seeking professional help - I've had CBT, and bereavement counselling in the past and for me it really was a lifesaver. Talking to a someone openly and without judgement can really help you to deal with any problems that you may have - it really helped me put things into perspective and it helped me to find way to manage and deal with my issues. Even if you do have family and peer support around you having a therapist will also add another friendly, helpful and unbiased face to your support network, and even things like attending appointments can play an important role in establishing a routine, which is something that can often go out the window after a bereavement or any other traumatic incident .

Try Your Hand At Meditation

Life is so busy now, and so stressful that it's important that we all take a bit of time out and do something to help us switch off from the world. From having a nap, to having a nice long bath, to even going to the gym there are so many ways in which individuals distress, but probably the most popular worldwide has to be the practise of meditation. Meditation can help you to pull yourself away from the past and live more in the present moment, which can improve the way you deal with your trauma and stress dramatically. It can also really help just to take your mind off things, as the main point of the experience is to clear your head of all thoughts to focus on calm and tranquillity. Though mastering the practise may be a little difficult, having something else that's so positive to focus on and put your efforts into can lift your mood noticeably. There are lots of apps and so on to help you meditate now, so it's worth having a look around to see what you can find. Many years ago now, when I was fit and healthy I used to practise yoga, and a key part of that was meditation. Meditation can be as simple as emptying your mind and staring into a candle flame (one of my favourite methods), or using your mind to take you to your happy place - control your breathing, imagine yourself on that tropical island and you can literally feel the tension melt away.

Research Alternative Ideas

When you stressed out or hurting emotionally there are lots of different methods and things that you can try, just to make life that little bit better. Depending on the kind of stress or trauma you experienced and the emotions that you feel, there are many different alternative methods that you can try. From psychic readings to guide you spiritually and to try and set your mind at rest, to special diets that are said to eliminate ‘negative’ foods that may cause more emotional pain, the possibilities are endless when it comes to seeking out something less traditional to help you deal with your troubles.  If something helps, then it’s worth doing, and that’s really the bottom line. If you find you are more stressed after reading, and shop for new glasses online, then if it works it is a good thing. Some of it might sound a little bit cranky or a bit left field but it's all about what works for you and what makes you feel better x From crystal healing, to yoga, to art therapy, and aromatherapy, whatever method you choose, just make sure that you are completely comfortable throughout the process, if you find something too distressing then try something else, the aim of whatever you do is to make you feel better not worse.

Whilst some things and emotions never truly go way, there are ways and means to make them more manageable, and to help you cope better with what lies ahead. Believe me I've been in some pretty dark places throughout my life, and I just want all of you to know that things can get better, they don't get better overnight but lots of self care, and lots of talking can certainly help you along the way. If you don’t think you can handle it all on your own don't worry, there is no shame in talking to a stranger and asking for help, there are lots of people out there who can offer you all of the support that you need, no matter what the issue x Always remember that you are not alone x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post

The Reason Why I Shop?

I must admit I have had a crappy couple of weeks. A twinge in my ear culminated in an ear infection and a blocked ear canal. Cue a few days of feeling very dizzy, nauseaous and disorientated. I eventually managed to get to the doctors where I was given a fortnights supply of antibiotics. they have only really started kicking in in the past day or so, so I have had over a week of being totally housebound and feeling ghastly, What do you do in this situation, unfortunately for me I shop online. I always seem to want to buy something to cheer me up, using it as an emotional crutch to perk me up and keep me sane. This time I turned to ebay buying a whole load of all be it bargain silver jewellery, and some discontinued Body Shop bits. It made me feel better for a bit then the guilt kicked in when I checked my paypal account. I really don't know why I do it - my old counsellor used to say I was filling a gap in my life which at the time made sense, but now who knows , maybe its just a habit I've got myself into - who knows. All I know is I have to try and get back into the money saving and spending ban habit - well after Thursday at least - I have an exclusive online invitation to the launch of MAC Hello Kitty - Oh well I can always start again on Friday ;)

2008 = Great - Not So Far!

Happy New Year and a very belated Happy Christmas readers!
Christmas was fab I got some amazing goodies, ate some yummy food and generally made merry! After Christmas however things started to go down hill. From Boxing Day onwards I started to develop the lurgy cold flu or whatever it is! Aches, pains you name it, then vomit, snot and now a hacking tickly cough! What an amazing start to 2008 and the football hasn't been much better! Here's hoping things can only get better - I have made some resolutions but I ain't going public with them - they aren't anything spectacular but they are personal ! At least the place looks nice today outside anyways - lovely snow making everything look clean and fresh better than indoors anyways all bare with the tree and the decoration being taken down!
Oh something good did happen I got an A for my first Counselling assignment!