Collaborative / Partnered Post - Self Care And Self Healing - How To Deal With Stress And Trauma*

Coping with the negative emotions that come after experiencing some kind of stress or trauma can be really difficult. Whilst physical pain can often be controlled quite quickly, dealing with your emotions takes time, and whilst some feelings, especially those you experience after bereavement, never truly go away, the first step towards any sort of healing is to properly acknowledge and deal with what's happened. If you’ve recently found yourself in a distressing or stressful situation and are looking for ways to achieve a more confident and positive outlook, here are a few tips and ideas to help you deal with what ever the world throws at you.

Image Source - Pexels

Professional Support Through Therapy

One of the biggest ways I've always found to deal with stressful and traumatic events is to talk about it -  I'm lucky to have supportive family and friend but sometimes that either isn't possible or it isn't appropriate. If the stress and emotion that you feel is getting out of hand and you feel as though you simply cannot deal with it alone, then it may be an idea to seek professional support through therapy with a counsellor or psychologist. There is so much stigma around seeking medical help for mental health issues, but there shouldn't be. Don't be frightened to consider seeking professional help - I've had CBT, and bereavement counselling in the past and for me it really was a lifesaver. Talking to a someone openly and without judgement can really help you to deal with any problems that you may have - it really helped me put things into perspective and it helped me to find way to manage and deal with my issues. Even if you do have family and peer support around you having a therapist will also add another friendly, helpful and unbiased face to your support network, and even things like attending appointments can play an important role in establishing a routine, which is something that can often go out the window after a bereavement or any other traumatic incident .

Try Your Hand At Meditation

Life is so busy now, and so stressful that it's important that we all take a bit of time out and do something to help us switch off from the world. From having a nap, to having a nice long bath, to even going to the gym there are so many ways in which individuals distress, but probably the most popular worldwide has to be the practise of meditation. Meditation can help you to pull yourself away from the past and live more in the present moment, which can improve the way you deal with your trauma and stress dramatically. It can also really help just to take your mind off things, as the main point of the experience is to clear your head of all thoughts to focus on calm and tranquillity. Though mastering the practise may be a little difficult, having something else that's so positive to focus on and put your efforts into can lift your mood noticeably. There are lots of apps and so on to help you meditate now, so it's worth having a look around to see what you can find. Many years ago now, when I was fit and healthy I used to practise yoga, and a key part of that was meditation. Meditation can be as simple as emptying your mind and staring into a candle flame (one of my favourite methods), or using your mind to take you to your happy place - control your breathing, imagine yourself on that tropical island and you can literally feel the tension melt away.

Research Alternative Ideas

When you stressed out or hurting emotionally there are lots of different methods and things that you can try, just to make life that little bit better. Depending on the kind of stress or trauma you experienced and the emotions that you feel, there are many different alternative methods that you can try. From psychic readings to guide you spiritually and to try and set your mind at rest, to special diets that are said to eliminate ‘negative’ foods that may cause more emotional pain, the possibilities are endless when it comes to seeking out something less traditional to help you deal with your troubles.  If something helps, then it’s worth doing, and that’s really the bottom line. If you find you are more stressed after reading, and shop for new glasses online, then if it works it is a good thing. Some of it might sound a little bit cranky or a bit left field but it's all about what works for you and what makes you feel better x From crystal healing, to yoga, to art therapy, and aromatherapy, whatever method you choose, just make sure that you are completely comfortable throughout the process, if you find something too distressing then try something else, the aim of whatever you do is to make you feel better not worse.

Whilst some things and emotions never truly go way, there are ways and means to make them more manageable, and to help you cope better with what lies ahead. Believe me I've been in some pretty dark places throughout my life, and I just want all of you to know that things can get better, they don't get better overnight but lots of self care, and lots of talking can certainly help you along the way. If you don’t think you can handle it all on your own don't worry, there is no shame in talking to a stranger and asking for help, there are lots of people out there who can offer you all of the support that you need, no matter what the issue x Always remember that you are not alone x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post

A Reflective Foodie Friday On A Sunday - Cinder Toffee

Looking back over the years I don't tend to post on November 5th that often, normally when I do it's a tribute to my dad or more personal posts about grief and loss, but this year I decided to do something a little bit different.

Losing someone you love is hard but when it's on a day that people celebrate or that means something to everyone, then it's even harder. On November 5th 2002, I lost my dad very suddenly, and ever since then I've hated Bonfire Night was a passion, every single bang and sparkle of light, brings back memories that quite frankly I don't want to remember.

Life doesn't change for other people though , so I guess you just need to get on with it, and try and embrace it with the best of them. So I'm writing this post, attempting to calm down some very scared kitty cats, looking at the pretty lights outside of the window and trying to remember the happy times.

So many of my good memories of my dad, my grans, and my childhood concern food, and the 5th November is no different, from baked potatoes and beans, to parkin,  and to treacle toffee and cinder toffee, food like fragrance, is intrinsically linked to our feelings and memories.

My mam used to be a big sweet maker, every year she'd make trays of peppermint creams, fudge, coconut ice, rum truffles and cinder toffee for us to eat in the run up to, and at Christmas. When you look at recipes associated with Guy Fawkes night, Cinder Toffee is always somewhere on the list. Cinder Toffee is one of the most names associated with it, at least up north, but you might know it as Hokey Pokey, Puff Candy, or Sponge Candy, or as Honeycomb. Yes it's that brittle, yet chewy toffee, that's full of air bubble, that you'll find in your Crunchie bar.

It's easy enough to buy it on it's own or covered with chocolate but like so many things it's often hard to beat something that's homemade. It isn't the hardest thing to make but you do need to be a bit careful in more ways than one. There are a few different recipes out there but this is our go to.

Cinder Toffee

3 Heaped Tablespoons Of Golden Syrup Or Treacle 

7oz (200g) Caster Sugar

1 1/2oz (40g) Butter

2 Tablespoons Cold Water

1/2 Teaspoon Vinegar

1 Heaped Teaspoon Of Bicarbonate Of Soda

1. Well grease a loaf tin or line with non stick parchment paper  - Okay as you can see this isn't a loaf tin it's a small roasting tin, which on reflection wasn't the best tin to make this in as it ended up a bit thinner then it should have done. You needn't be too precise with size but it's better to make it in a smaller and deeper tin, than a larger shallower one like this one.

2. To make this recipe you really need a good quality heavy bottomed pan, the pan is going to get hot so you want something that's pretty substantial. I'm using a pressure cooker pan here.

Add your sugar, syrup, butter and cold water and heat gently until the sugar is melted, stirring all the time

3. When your sugar has melted, turn up the heat until it reaches a continuous rolling boil. If you have a sugar thermometer your mixture needs to reach 290˚ F or 143˚ C. If you don't have one though don't worry, get yourself a cup of cold water and keep testing the mixture by dripping blobs into the water. The mixture will go through several stages but eventually the mixture will become hard and brittle and snap when you drop it into the water.

4. Once it's reached that stage take the pan off the heat, and add the vinegar and the vinegar and the bicarb, and give it a good stir. It will expand slightly at this stage, and foam and change colour slightly. (Make sure that your bicarbonate of soda isn't too near the expiry date - the longer you have it the more it loses it potency - a new tub will give the best results)

5. Then pour it CAREFULLY in to your tin - Don't be tempted to touch the mix with your hands or taste it - it will be stupidly hot.

6. Then leave your tray in a cool dry place for a few hours until it's set solid. No matter how well you've greased your tin it will still be nigh on impossible to get it out of the tin. I suggest either hitting your cinder toffee with a hammer or careful drop the tray onto the floor to break up your toffee. You won''t get any neat squares with this rough shards are what you should be aiming for.

You can either eat it straight away or you can store it for a few days in a cool, dry airtight tin. It should be the perfect combo of brittle and chewy. You can either eat as is, or you can cover it chocolate, use it with a chocolate fondue, or you can crush it up and use for an ice cream topping, in butter cream or whipped cream in cakes, or in cookies or flapjacks.

This isn't the most dentist friendly treat so watch those crowns and fillings, and brush your teeth after you've gorge. I'm at the dentist this week so this probably wasn't the perfect thing to eat this weekend but I enjoyed it anyways, and sometimes a little bit of what you fancy does you good. What do you call cinder toffee? Let me know in the comments and I hope you have a safe and enjoyable Guy Fawkes night x 

LouLouLand - 2016 - A Year In Review - Part 2 - July To December

Welcome to Part 2 of my blogging year in review x In this post I'm going to be looking back at some my favourite and most poignant blog posts from July to December 2016.

July 2016

July was a busy month post wise, I went shopping a lot and I shared a few reviews and a few nails of the day posts with you. I also tried out one of the newest beauty boxes on the market - QVC UK's Tili Beauty Box. Unboxing's are normally exclusive to my You Tube channel but I couldn't resist sharing this one with you one the blog as well. I've had both of the QVC Tili boxes to date now and I've loved both of them, I love trying new things and already I've found some things that I love, and some things that I will definitely consider repurchasing. I for one have my fingers tightly crossed that we'll see some more TILI (Try It Love) Boxes in 2017.

Speaking of new things, In 2016 one of the beauty ranges that I couldn't wait to try, was the Rosie For Autograph range for Marks & Spencer. M&S teamed up with supermodel Rosie Huntington Whitely to produce a make up range to rival any designer beauty brand on the market. The prices aren't the cheapest but I couldn't resist adding just one little thing to my make up collection, a Lip Glossy in Sweet Nothing Kisses x

I absolutely love this colour and it's something that I've worn an awful lot since I got it - you can find out more about it here x I'm definitely going to try and pick up a few more things from the Rosie For Autograph collection is 2017 but in the meantime I have another Lip Glossy in Supermodel Smile to try courtesy of the 2016 M&S Beauty Advent Calendar.

July also featured one of my last Foodie Friday posts of the year. I'm planning on doing some more Foodie Friday posts in 2017 and maybe some videos to, but in this last one,  I shared with you my interpretation of one of my favourite Hello Fresh recipes which I renamed my Lentil, Roasted Vegetable And Halloumi Salad x 

Don't forget to click on the Recipes tab above to check out all of the recipes that I've posted in my nearly 9 years of blogging.

August 2016

August was a pretty barren month in LouLouLand thanks to a bit of laptop breakage. The lid and screen on my Acer laptop completely snapped off, and instead of doing the sensible things and upgrading then and there, I sent it away to get fixed which took a few weeks. So for most of the month I was laptop less. Thankfully I did manage to get a few posts up including my final two posts for My Pure* and a couple of nails of the day posts, including this all be it edited to death, beauty from Nails Inc,

and I also posted a nails of the day from one of the newest nail brands on the market, Roxanne Campbell, and her beautiful shade Stormy Weather.

September 2016

From a barren month in August, to one of the hardest months of my life in September. On September the 11th 2016, I lost my beloved Godfather after a long period of ill health but thankfully peacefully after a short illness. As I said at the time, when you lose a parent like I did, if you're lucky enough, some people step up to the plate and try to take on that parental role, as well as my mum taking on the dad role too, I'm lucky enough to have uncles that care and I was lucky enough to have my Godmother. It's been a tough few months, but he will never be forgotten.

That news affected my whole month but I blogged a lot and tried to keep focused and again I shared a lot of posts with you including a haul or two,  another nails of the day from Roxanne Campbell* and a bargaintastic nails of the day from Primark.

The month of September will also go down in history, as the month when I lost my Benefit brows* virginity. I was lucky enough to be invited along to the Benefit counter in Debenhams in Intu Eldon Square, for a complimentary brow mapping, and brow wax and from that moment onwards I was a total convert. 2016 was the year when I actually started giving a damn about my brows and that was all thanks to Benefit. Find out what I got up to and what I bought here x 

September was also the month when my laptop gave up the ghost for good and I took the plunge and joined the Mac book generation. I've regretted it at times but I've gradually fallen in love with my silver, illuminated beauty even if I did end up losing a whole load of photos in the conversion process hmmm.

October 2016

October was another busy month on LouLouland as I temporarily got my blogging mojo back and enjoyed playing with my new mac book. October was a very home focused month on LouLouLand as I shared two home hauls with you - in the first one I lost my Tiger virginity, and bought some cute bits from ebay 

and in the second one I went crazy buying candles, home fragrances, pineapples and mood lighting.

It was also a busy month press sample wise, and I reviewed a beautiful facial oil from Beuti* and some fabulous cruelty free brushes from L.A.B. 2*

I also had a lot of fun at the Autumn / Winter Intu Metrocentre Style Garden event* where I fell in love with lots and lots of clothes, home wear and handbags, and I was thoroughly spoilt by the entire  Intu Metrocentre team and in particular by Aspinal London and Thomas Sabo x

In October I also shared with you yet another Primark haul, and I also shared a high end beauty haul with you, where I showed you some of the beauty bits that I'd bought over the last few months including some Style Garden influenced Kiehls and Giorgio Armani purchases as well as some OPI, Tarte and Nails Inc pieces.

My final post pick of October 2016 is a NYX haul and review post featuring a blusher, some eyeshadows, and some lip things. I'm so pleased that we can now buy NYX on the UK high street now and I'll definitely be picking up some more bits in 2017.

November 2016

November was a quiet month on LouLouLand as life got in the way again, but I'm pretty proud of the three posts that I've picked out to summarise the month. It's all about the make up and in November I was lucky enough to review a couple of pieces from the amazing Joan Collins' Timeless Beauty range.

The first product that I reviewed was one of her beautifully packaged nail lacquers in the shade Helene*, a beautiful blue based red. Red nails just scream glamour, and even on my short nails, this colour looked incredible. 

Although I'm not usually the type to match my lipstick with my nail polish, I also reviewed one of the beautiful Joan Collins Divine Lips Lipsticks in the shade Amanda*. I'm not usually a red lip fan but as I say this was the year when I tried to branch out a bit and try some new things. This shade is simply stunning, it's a warm red that I think would suit a lot of skin tones x Click here to read all about it x 

Next up more make up and this time some bits that I bought myself from the fabulous KIKO Milano store in Intu Eldon Square. KIKO are definitely one of my brands of the moment and in this haul I shared some of my newest pieces with you including some eye shadows, cheek colours, nail polishes, and a lipstick x 

If you're a KIKO fan they I would try and check out their sale if you can x I only picked up a couple of things but they had some lovely things and some fab offers x I might stick up a post or a video next week if I can xx

December 2016

December is supposed to be one of the happiest and jolliest months of the year but for me it started off in the worst way. On 3rd December my beautiful Persian Jasper left us and crossed rainbow bridge. It's so hard to believe that it's been nearly a month since we lost him. I miss and think about him everyday and the house feels just a little bit quieter without him. So in December I shared with you both my love and sadness, and my feeling and experiences of losing a much loved pet x

I didn't post as much as I would have liked in December for a few reasons but I did manage to share a couple of hauls with you including a Royal Quays Outlet Beauty Haul, which features some Wet N Wild, some Clarins and a few bits from The Body Shop, 

and I also shared a tiny Primark haul with you and a home and home fragrance haul with you featuring NEXT, Yankee Candles and Boohoo.

So that was 2016 in review, a lot of down downs, and a few ups, and lots of beauty, fashion and lifestyle content thrown in. I hope that whether you're a new or a longtime reader that you've enjoyed this little look back at 2016 and I hope it's left you wanting more.

I'm hoping to be less of a flake in 2017 and I'm really going to try and push my blog on and try and get it to where I feel it should be and where I want it to be. My blog definitely didn't grow as much as I would have liked in 2016 and although life does get in the way at times, I only have myself to blame. Still I was given a huge boost this month when I hit a crazy 1,000,000 all time page views. Not only is that an amazing figure for little old me, but it was a major confidence boost, when I was feeling a little bit down about my blog, and it future. So for 2017 the aim is onwards and upwards, I have lots of plans and aims this year and I'm going to do my damnedest to achieve them all x Thanks again to all of you for following and reading I really do appreciate it more than you will ever know x Thanks for reading both of these posts, and I will see you next year (eek) with some new posts that you won't want to miss x

*Press Samples Or Blog Events