Collaborative / Partnered Post - A Few Ways To Help Boost Your Self Confidence And Self Belief*

When people meet me for the first time, a lot of them think that I'm bristling with self confidence I talk 20 to the dozen and generally seem quite comfortable in my own skin, but scratch a little bit below the surface, and they'd soon see that a lot of the times it's just an act. I've never had a lot of self belief or self confidence, I was a notoriously shy child, and even one of my best friends used to call my mouse girl when we first met at university. It's only the last 10 - 15 years that I've actually started to feel comfortable in my own skin, and as a result I've developed a more confident and positive outlook.

Self confidence and self belief, though isn't a fixed think. Even people who consider themselves as bubbly, positive and happy human beings, can sometimes have a crisis of confidence. This could be because of a certain trigger like your overbearing boss at work telling you that you are underachieving. It could be that you feel inferior to all of the super toned individuals in the gym, or those gorgeous people on Instagram, or it might be because you are generally feeling down and you can’t pinpoint any real cause

Although it seems like such a minor thing, our confidence levels are crucial to help us to maintain a positive outlook on life. When you're feeling confident and positive, you can feel more empowered to take on life’s challenges. When you're lacking in self confidence you can be unwilling to try new things, and to try and achieve your goals for fear of failure, if you're not feeling great confidence wise at the moment, there are a few general ways in which you give you self confidence a boost.

Get Active

While those bronzed bodies and gym bunnies may be preventing you from feeling comfortable on the treadmill or having fun in your favourite Zumba class, there is generally no excuse to remain sedentary. Instead, consider heading outdoors and having some fun jogging around your local park or partaking in a bike ride. If you don’t fancy going it alone, consider roping in a pal to keep you company. This can make exercising a more social activity that you can enjoy with friends.

Being outside will also help you to soak up some much needed Vitamin D (something which I and a lot of people in the UK lack!) which can help regulate your body clock, and help you to sleep better. Natural sunlight is a natural mood lifter so try to get outdoors for at least thirty minutes every day. This is especially important if you work from home or if you have a desk job.

Alas being active and getting fit isn't something that I can do that much of, jogging is a distant memory for me, but even I can manage a little walk around the block or a couple of minutes walk everyday enjoying my surroundings, and experiencing nature, so what if it's raining, grab and umbrella and a waterproof jacket, believe me you'll feel so much better if potentially a little bit soggy when you come back. Changes don't have to massive but even making tiny changes to your daily routine can make a small difference to your mental health.

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I firmly believe that my own self confidence issues boil down to my facial palsy, although I've learned to accept myself now, bullying, and name calling can really effect how you see yourself. In this day and age, of social media perfection, more and more of us are self conscious about their looks and appearance. The first thing I would say to that is that you're perfect the way you are please believe that - but if aspects of your appearance are causing to lack confidence in social situations then don't be frightened to look for solutions If you suffer from a condition like acne, all is not lost. While the scarring on your face may make you feel embarrassed or anxious, you could head to your doctor and ask about new drugs like erythromycin. After taking this drug for six weeks, you could see a huge reduction in your acne. There is a wealth of information about Zineryt that is the brand of choice for many medical professionals. Whilst my acne wasn't horrendous as a teenager I did end up seeing my GP about it - I promise they won't dismiss your concerns, and they will help you find a solution.

As someone whose been a size 10 and a size 22, I know all about how weight can effect how you feel about yourself. To be honest probably had as many days being self conscious about my body at both ends of the weight spectrum but if you're really unhappy with your body shape, then again seek professional help. If you want to lose a few pounds though, then it's easy enough to make some small changes to your diet. I'm not big on the whole diet and denial thing, eat those "naughty things" in moderation. and try and swap the sugary chocolate snacks and saturated fat laden meals for more fruit, green leafy vegetables and lean meat and fish. Forget about having to rely on meat and go vegan or if that's to much for you, go meat free for a couple of days each week to maximise your antioxidant intake and to help boost your mood. With a new eating plan, you might be able to lose a few pounds which might help boost your self confidence, and improve your body image

As I said before body image has probably taken a battering since the emergence of social media. Instagram is the most visual of these platforms with plenty of perfectly filtered selfies and lifestyles appearing in your feed every day. Even though you know that these photographs are often faked by a spot of Amaro or Holga filtering, you can’t help but feel envious or inferior. While Instagram aims to be aspirational, it has morphed into a damaging tool that has a negative impact on people’s health. Instead of scrolling through your social media feeds for hours on end, take a detox. While difficult to begin with, you can swap your screen time for something more beneficial in the real world. Head for coffee with pals, go and see a movie or enjoy relaxing with a long hot soak in the tub, or do what I've done and unfollow people who make you miserable. Remember a lot of people only post what they want you to see, you don't see them sitting in front of the TV, eating cereal with no make up on, and wearing a past it's best jumper covered in cat hair. People curate their images to create an image of perfection, they will have a their bad skin, untidy house, rubbish days the same as you do. Keep this thought in your head take a step back and I can guarantee you'll start feeling happier better about yourself, and a bit more confident to boot.

Do Something New

As the old saying goes a change really is as good as a rest. Switch your routine up and if you fancy trying something new, be brave and go for it. By taking the plunge and doing something that is naturally a little scary, you can boost your self confidence. If you fancy trying out for the local ladies football team, go for it. If you want to learn the piano, book yourself in for a taster session. And if you want to have a go at a cake decorating course, enrol yourself in an evening class. There are so many evening classes at local colleges, and a lot of local community centres offer everything from yoga classes, to writers groups and art classes. 

There are plenty of things that you can do to help increase your confidence levels, don't let fear rule your life, if you want to do something do it. Yes it can be scary going into a room of people you don't know for the first time, but meeting new people and making new friends helps to extend your social circle and it also might help you to learn a new skill. Try something new, meet new people, and improve your self esteem.

Travel

To say that heading overseas and partaking in a spot of solo travel can be daunting, is an understatement, and it's would be a huge thing to do for the majority of people to do. However, it needn’t be, and lots of people, are now holidaying alone, enjoying their own company, and finding out a little bit more about themselves along the way. Travelling to another part of the world could see you immersing yourself in new cultures and trying new cuisine. Being somewhere totally new and speaking a different language forces you to rely on your own wits and you will find yourself in unfamiliar situations. Working out your own itinerary and solving problems on route will help boost your self confidence.

Take some holiday that you are owed from work or ask for an unpaid sabbatical so you can embark on your own wanderlust adventure. Think about the sort of destinations you would like to visit. Do you want to head to Iceland to look for the Northern Lights, or perhaps you’d like a physical adventure and trekking the Inca Trail is more up your street, or maybe you’d rather enjoy the beach life of Goa or the Maldives and a relaxing break is just what the doctor ordered. Whatever it is that you want to do and whatever vistas you want to see, ensure that you bite the bullet and get yourself booked on a flight. Book your accommodation and plan your travel to ensure that you can enjoy the trip of a lifetime. You will return oozing with self confidence, but if that's a tiny bit much for your there lots of travel companies that specifically focus on lone travellers, so you could explore somewhere new and meet new friends at the same time.

Self confidence is a funny thing, even a tiny comment from an acquaintance, or a message from someone online, or even a picture that we see online, can change how we feel about ourselves - a positive comment and our confidence soars, something negative, and a cycle of self loathing begins or is intensified. Whilst some of the things that I've mentioned can help you improve out self belief and self confidence. It's important to start with you - read these words, and remember them - you are as good as anyone else, you look amazing, you have an amazing personality, and you are a great person, don't ever let anyone make you feel anything less than what you are x

*Collaborative / Partnered Post

Chunky Thighs, Summer Clothes And A May 2017 Primark Haul

Whilst the weather in the last few hours has been more reminiscent of a tropical storm or the end of days, it's been hot and sunny in most parts of the UK this week, so at last it looks as though Summer 2017 has officially started. Like most of the UK this week, I opened  my wardrobe and started looking for something cool and more summer appropriate to wear, and rather unexpectedly I closed the door and came out empty handed. In pretty much every Primark haul and video this year I've talked about why I don't need to buy anymore summer clothes, and that is still true, I own plenty of summer clothes, at the moment I just can't get my fat stomach and thighs into them! Talk about disheartening! needless to say I had a good cry, and then I went online and ordered myself a few bits in a larger size, and in an attempt to save myself a bit of money I've made the decision to resume my diet on Monday, so I can actually get some wear out the clothes that I already own.

So anyway back on point - this a Primark haul post, and both of the trips that I made this month were before I realised that I was a bit too chunky for the majority of my bottom half clothes, so clothing wise this haul just included a few basics and a few bits and pieces that I loved on sight.

Yes more stripes, I'm slightly obsessed at the moment, and I'm embracing my love of horizontal stripes and I'm thoroughly enjoying breaking those fashion rules, even if there was something in the news this week, about the Breton stripe inducing headaches hmm! Anyway this was the top that I originally bought last month that was on the wrong hanger. It's an ordinary long line t-shirt in white almost slubby type fabric with a very thin black stripe, it was only £4 and thankfully this one fits perfectly.

Next up more black and white stripes, and although this one is described as a cami dress, on me wearing this as a dress in the UK, could lead to an arrest for exposure! On most people these are probably just a very decent length, long line vest, I already own a couple of these in plain colours, and they are really good for layering. This one is black with a thin white stripe and it was also just £4.

So yeah stripes are huge in fashion at the moment, and something else that is also pretty on trend is the slogan t-shirt, jumper or swimsuit. We all seem to be obsessed with words and quirky sayings, and it's a trend that I'm personally a fan of. Although I'm more obsessed with having French words emblazoned on my clothes (odd but in reality the French accent doesn't do a lot for me!) the odd quirky phrase in English can be a lot of fun.

I already picked up a slogan t-shirt in my previous Primark haul (read it here) and I couldn't resist this one especially since it was just £2.50! It's a tiny bit shorter and snugger than I would have liked but at that price you can't really argue. I'm in the middle of a coffee love in at the moment so this slogan was perfect "Coffee First Then The World".

The final clothing item that I picked up is actually from the swimwear and beachwear range. An overseas holiday is looking pretty unlikely again this year for various reasons, but if I was going I would definitely have taken a closer look and Primark's holiday section. Admittedly I probably wouldn't have been able to squeeze my ass in to much but they had some gorgeous things for not very much money at all. I did pick up one thing though, this off white, crochet, lace effect beach cover up.

Although I think that this intended to be worn on the beach or by the pool over a bikini or a swimsuit, I'm intending to use it as a layering piece over a plain strappy vest to give it a bit more interest and to cover up a little bit. I've bought a few cover ups in the past for exactly this purpose and I think that they look great over a pair of leggings or jeans, with a pair of flip flops or sandals. This was also just £4 and it comes in a few difference colours.

That was it for clothing but i pick up a few pairs of shoes, I originally went looking for the Prada and Valentino copies but they had long gone in the two stores that I went in to. If you follow me on Instagram (i'm @LouLou699 you'll know that I recently picked up a pair of gorgeous pair of metallic pink, cool rose gold, Converse, and I love them. There are a whole range of metallic Converse on the market at the moment and I want all of them. My low Converse are probably my most worn shoes at the moment and if I couldn't wear nothing else bar Converse at the moment I would probably be okay with that. That said they are pricey and as yet I'm yet to see any in this shade.

Okay they aren't the real thing obviously but they are pretty damned close, and I absolutely love the bright metallic teal blue colour. I'm an 8 normally in Converse but I managed to get these dupes in a size 7. At just £8 I think that shoes are a real bargain, and I'm definitely going to try and get my hands on the silver pair as well.

I'm loving metallic anything at the moment, and loving navy and blue and much as I do, these metallic, rope effect, espadrille pumps are perfect and they are ridiculously comfortable as well.

They had these in a few different colours and for just £4 a pair they really are a summer most have. The sizing is pretty generous so in this case I also managed to get a size 7 and with even a little bit of room to spare.

Although I'm trying to cut down on the amount of jewellery that I buy and instead actually start wearing some of the pieces that I already own, on my first trip which was to the Newcastle store I did buy a couple of necklaces. They are both in the bib style and this first one which was £3 features a mixture of gold tone and crystal set discs.

The second necklace is also in the bib style, and it reminds me a lot of the Egyptian style necklaces that you see in images and representation of the likes of Cleopatra. It was £4 and it's comprised of gold tone, snake chain, with semi circles in both gold and silver tone hanging from, to give the illusion of hanging spikes.

I mentioned in my previous Primark haul post that I wanted to have a better look at their new beauty products, and I managed to a good rummage, and whilst I was impressed with a lot of the products for the price, in all honestly I didn't really need anything so I stayed strong, and just picked up one of their new nails polishes.

There was a few of these and I was initially going to be a few of them but since my nails have gone down the drain again, I just ended up buying the one, the PS Holographic Nail Polish in the shade 2 Cute 4 U. I'm not sure whether or it, I would describe it as a true holograph but it's actually a lovely pearlised iridescent with a sprinkling of holographic sparkle. I haven't properly yet so I'm not sure whether or not it's a full coverage polish or whether or not you could use it as a top coat but purely in the bottle it reminds me of one of the limited edition Nails Inc Unicorn colours. This nail polish was £2.

The final thing that I bought was a home item, and as much as I'm loving Primark's cactus and flamingo love in at the moment, I'm running out of space for frippery, so I just bought a reed diffuser. A few people have been talking about the quality of Primark's reed diffusers lately, and since I did really like the last one I tried, I though I'd give this tropical, summer scented Mango and Passion Fruit one a try. It was just £3 and I have really high hopes for it, I just hope that it doesn't disappoint.

So that was my latest Primark haul, giving my rather rotund frame at the moment I think I'm going to be looking elsewhere when it comes to summery bottoms (video or blog post to come when I do buy something elsewhere though ), but I did see a couple of tops that I might go back for. In the meantime don't forget to watch the accompanying video below or via this link.



If you have any questions please leave me a comment below and I'll see you soon with another blog post x

Breaking Fashion Rules And Accepting Yourself The Way You Are - OOTD

Like most people I have pretty much a love / hate relationship with Facebook, at times it irritates the hell out of me so I probably don't spend as much time on it as I used but it's still a valuable tool for helping me keep in touch with my friends and family, and every now and then, in between the memes and the cat videos, I do see the odd article that really makes me think.

I recently say something on Facebook, about a plus size, curvy lady who was posting pictures of her outfits online. Nothing unusual about that I hear you say, well no but in this case this women was told that she shouldn't wear a bikini because of her size, so to get back at the haters and prove that women can wear whatever the hell they want, she posted pictures of herself on social media breaking every plus size, fashion taboo out there and wearing everything from bikinis, to leggings and cropped tops,

My immediate reaction was that she was brave, but when I sat and thought about it, I came to the realisation that she's not brave at all, she's not doing anything scary she's just living her best life and accepting every inch of her beautiful and functional body for what it is. If she's happy in herself and with what she's wearing then good for her, what business is it of anybody else's what she wears and what she looks like!

The only opinion that matters when you look in the mirror should be your own, but thanks to the images of the perfect face and body that we faced with everyday, more and more people are suffering from a distorted view of themselves. Instead of looking at the positives when they look in the mirror, some people can only see their faults.

Whilst I would safely say that I'm more comfortable in my own skin now then I have been in a long time, some days I look in the mirror and I hate the girl that's staring back at me. I'm not even sure most of the time why I feel that way - I know my facial palsy can play a part but I also know that I've felt the same at times when I've been a size 8 and a size 20 so although my weight is playing a part at the moment it's not the only thing that causes me to feel so down on myself.

Quote Found On Facebook No Source Given

What can I do about it? well at the moment I'm focusing on self care, like I said in my last post I'm trying to find the positives in life, and I'm looking in the mirror everyday and trying to find something about myself that I like, today is a bad day so it's just my ears, hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling more positive and it will be something larger and a bit more noticeable.

In what seems like a contradiction I'm also spending a bit of time on social media, I'm spending my time looking at a lot of plus sized fashion bloggers, and I've also been watching this fabulous BBC Three piece from one of my favourite, fellow North East bloggers Katie Meehan. All of these lovely ladies just ooze confidence and self belief and I'm hoping that a little bit of that might rub off on me.

As the saying goes if you can't beat them join and that's exactly what i intend to do. Despite my current curvier, silhouette I still love clothes and fashion as much as I ever did, and although you seem to see a lot of clothes that I buy you never seem to see me wearing them. From now on though that is going to change I can't guarantee it's going to be a weekly thing but I'm going to bring the outfit of the day posts back to LouLouLand. Even if I don't always like what I see in the mirror, I'm going to be getting myself out there and trying to accept myself for what I am.

I thought I'd start off with one of those breaking plus size, fashion rules posts. Apparently if your curvy horizontal stripes are a big no no. Guess what though? I love them and I always have, from when I was a child, to when I was a size 8 I've always loved wearing horizontal stripes, and even though it's supposedly a fashion no, no for curvy girls, I'm going to carry on wearing them regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I wore this outfit to the recent Intu Metrocentre Spring / Summer Fashion VIP Event and I loved it. The dress is made of a super soft, comfortable, stretchy jersey, and I love the way the up and down, shark bite hem swished around my legs. The weather on the night wasn't very spring like so I teamed it with tights and chunky ankle boots, but I also think that this dress would look great with bare legs and sandals or short white or black converse. I finished the look with a long line statement necklace, and a faux leather black biker style, bomber jacket also from Simply Be that isn't pictured.

What I Wore

Black / Ivory Stripe Asymmetric Hanky Hem Dress - Simply Be 

Black Opaque Tights - Primark

Black Chunky Heel Chelsea Boots - Studio

Heart Charm Necklace - Ebay Seller - mandymax1971

Mummy Lou's photography skills are definitely improving, I just need to work out on my posing skills. I like the idea of shooting outside but you can tell I'm dealing with the elements it was windy, and thanks to the glare on my lenses I'm squinting slightly! So you've got a squinting grimace, and a resting bitch face. I'm never happy but the fact that I'm actually putting the pictures out there speaks volumes. I've got things to work but this is all about positivity and accepting myself the way I am, it's a work in progress and hopefully it will be one that I will share with you, with more outfit posts in the future x 

My Weight Loss Journey Featuring XLS Medical* - An Update And Birthdays

A million apologies that this post is a few days later than planned but yet again life got in the way. For once though it wasn't for anything bad, I've uploaded a couple of You Tube videos this week, and I had a lovely day yesterday with Mummy Lou, we went to Chiquitos for lunch, did a bit of shopping and then I had an amazing Kiehls facial, hand and arm massage in the newly refurbished House Of Fraser Beauty Rooms, in their Intu Metrocentre store. Heaven, and the perfect start to my birthday celebrations!

Yes it's my birthday on Sunday and ahead of any potential naughtiness calorie wise, I though I better update you on how my weight loss journey is going.

Not too bad is the answer, although I've had a couple of wobbles here and there, and a couple of weeks where I didn't manage to lose any weight, since my last update  I've managed to lose 6lbs taking me to 12lbs in total.

I had a couple of really good weeks then I got sick again which contributed to a couple of wobbles, and then I had my godfathers 87th birthday party, which involved cake and lots of gluten free pizza :) so I'm taking the fact that I didn't gain anything over the 5 weeks or so as a bonus.

Maybe this is the XLS Medical Max Strength doing it's thing who knows? Even on my off days and days when I haven't been calorie counting I've still been taking the supplements so maybe they've helped stop the absorption of some of the excess fat and calories

Celebrations normally involve food, and I'm not intending to be too careful about what I eat over the next few days but I will be talking the supplements and trying to make some good choices. Yesterday in Chiquitos we didn't have starters or dessert, and I just had a salad (the Halloumi Citrus Salad in case you're interested) and me and Mummy Lou shared a side order of Sweet Potato Fries. I had a Costa Creamy Cooler too but I didn't eat very much else all day.

So one  birthday event down two to go, obviously there is my birthday itself and tomorrow night I'm going for a meal with my best friend to a local Greek restaurant so although there might be a few calories from the olive oil, maybe some chips and some cheese, I'll definitely be getting my five a day when it comes to vegetables,

I intend to enjoy my birthday and if that means eating a few bad (good) things then so be it - Everything in moderation and they say and I'll be back on it as soon as I can, and I'll be updating my Instagram from Monday with my weekly weigh in's regardless of the result..

I only have about a month's worth of the XLS Medical Max Strength supplements remaining so in about a months time I'll do another update, where I'll talk more about the supplements and talk about my experiences with them.

Thanks again for your support and if you have any questions please leave me a comment and let me know x Thanks for reading xx

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A Weight Loss Journey Update - Illness, A Big Fat Fail And A Small Positive

It's been over a month since I announced that I was restarting my weight loss journey and since then it's all gone a bit quiet, so I thought I owed you an explanation.

The reality is that yet again my healthy eating and weight loss plans went down the pan - I had a good couple of weeks without managing to lose any weight (probably down to star week) and then it all went belly up.

I had a few wobbles over Mothers Day weekend but then I was hit by an awful virus or should I say viruses! Over the next 3 weeks I had a UTI (sorry if that's a bit TMI), a sickness and diarrhoea bug, and finally a horrible cold / chest infection that I can't seem to shake off, and then of course came Easter!

How I haven't gained any weight I'll never know, maybe the various viral infections played their part and scared the calories and periods of over indulgence away, but whatever the reason I have to take it as a positive and put this wobble behind me.

So from yesterday I'm back on it and I've even more determined then ever - I took what I hope will become a before photograph, that almost made me cry and that I hope will give me the push and inspiration that I need.

I'm going to trying to eat more healthily, I'm aiming to eat less than 1500 calories a day and I'm going to be resuming my XLS Medical Max Strength* trial. I'm also going to try and up my activity levels, I'm going to start slowly and just do more around the house including tidying and decorating before hopefully moving on to a bit of Wii Fit, a bit of yoga, and hopefully once the weather gets better I'm going to pop my trainers on and start going for a daily walk just to get myself out of the house and to get myself moving.

So after yet another false start I'm back and raring to go, as per usual I will be weighing on Monday's and updating my progress be it good or bad on my Instagram (link in the sidebar x ) and in a month's time I'll do another blog post to let you know how I'm getting on. Wish me luck xx

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Restarting My Weight Loss Journey Featuring XLS Medical Max Strength*

It's hard to believe but it's been nearly 3 months since I put the breaks on my latest weight journey - doesn't time fly. A lot of water has gone under the bridge and I've eaten a lot of chocolate since then but after a few months worth of trials and tribulations I'm ready to start again.

Although I couldn't eat anything too hard, or too sticky or too crunchy I still managed to put on quite a bit of weight over Christmas. Salvation came though when the tooth said goodbye, 7 days of liquids and sloppy food meant that my weight loss journey started without me even trying. 

In the month that' followed I've had some good days and some bad days but since I first stepped on the scales on the Monday before my surgery I've managed to lose 6lbs by just making little tweaks here and then.

From today though I'm back on it good and proper and I'm going to be resuming my XLS Medical Max Strength trial. I started using this weight loss aid last June, and I really think it made a difference (Find out more about my previous experience by typing XLS Medical into the search box or have a read of some of my previous posts, here, here and here. Thanks to the tooth though and various unrelated health issues I had to put the trial on hold. From today though I'm back on it and for the next 3 months I'm going to be taking 4 tablets a day, whilst watching what I eat, drinking plenty of water and trying to increase my activity levels. 

What I was doing before seemed to be working so I'm going to try and do the same thing again - I'm a bit of a devotee of calorie counting so that's what I'm going to do. It makes sense really, eat less calories, and you'll lose weight - simples! Well I know it's not that simple. it's tough, it's hard and it needs serious willpower, but by making small changes, taking my XLS Medical supplements,eating 3 healthy meals a day, cutting down on the cheese and the chocolate, and by moving my body a bit more, hopefully I'll be able to shed those pounds and feel a bit more confident and a bit happier.

I still don't feel confident enough to reveal my full weight on the blog at the moment so all I'll say it at the moment I weigh:

1%st 8lbs

I have quite a bit  of weight to lose, and I know that it won't be a quick fix but I'm hoping that the XLS Medical tablets can do there thing, and at least help my kick start my weight loss over the next 3 months. I'm only going to be posting monthly updates on the blog, so if you want to keep tracks on my progress please follow me on either Instagram or Twitter where I'll be posting my weekly weigh in's every Monday. Thanks as per usual for your support, if you have any questions let me know and if you're interested in XLS Medical in general or the XLS Medical Max Strength supplements then don't forget to check out their website for more information x

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Life Lately - Weight Loss, Chronic Fatigue, Illness And Family

When I first started my blog nearly 9 years ago now I talked a lot about myself, my family and my illness - I used to write regular goods and bads posts and I often used my blog as a bit of a place to whinge. Over the years though my blog has changed and maybe I've changed!  For various reasons I haven't felt comfortable sharing certain aspects of my life and my blog has become my happy place, a place where I can escape and take time out of my daily life. I always wanted my blog to be a part of me though, so every once and a while maybe it's good to share.

To say my posting has been flaky lately is probably an understatement, I seem to have a really consistent spell and then I seem to disappear for a few days or a week. There shouldn't be any pressure to blog but I do feel a bit guilty every now and then when I can't get as many posts up as I would like. Life over the last 3 or 4 months or so hasn't been kind to me in a lot of ways and that's reflected in my blog so event hough there probably isn't a need I thought I should at least give you some sort of an explanation. 

I don't want to go into too much detail but as you know I'm quite close to my family, and unfortunately my illness curse seems to have struck them too. I'm not going to go into too much detail to protect them and their privacy but two of my closest family members are having a very rough time of it at the moment. It's awful seeing people you love struggling on a day to day basis, and facing their own mortality and it's probably affected me more than I've realised, both physically and mentally, something that I could probably have done without.

Chronic fatigue syndrome is a funny thing, I don't mean funny haha, I mean strange, one minute you can feel relatively "normal" and the next minute you can feel as though your on deaths door, yet you'll still look okay. You can have good days and you can have bad days and this year for whatever reason I've definitely had more bad days than good days.Throw in a long awaited, and presumed Fibromyalgia diagnosis and it's now pretty clear why I've been in so much pain and felt so wiped out.

If that wasn't all after a routine dental check up I was told that one of my wisdom teeth needs to be removed! Fury didn't quite cover it, I brush, I floss, I use mouthwash, I visit the dentist every 6 months - why!!! and why wasn't this picked up sooner! I know some of my medications can affect my teeth and my saliva (yuck, sorry!) but still!

A visit to an oral surgeon confirmed that the tooth needed to come out, and I was put on the waiting list to get it removed. Oh and in the meantime I was told to eat a relatively soft diet as the damaged tooth would potentially start to break off - hmm I wondered what that small creamy, white hard thing was in my risotto!! 

Yeah - not good but unfortunately the worst was yet to come" before any form of surgery you have to undergo certain tests to rule out any complications and after some simple tests low and behold they found a couple of issues. I'm not going to bore you with the details but I have a pile of new medication to take and I have to see a health care professional every fortnight for monitoring!

So here I am, waiting and waiting for that appointment letter to get this godforsaken tooth removed, I swear it caused me no pain or irritation until that bloody dental check up. Thankfully avoiding anything to hard or chewy, painkillers, Corsodyl mouth wash, and Anbesol liquid are making it a bit more bearable but I'm still having the occasional swollen hamster cheek moment!

At the moment finding something to eat and eating without discomfort is hard enough, without watching what I'm eating so I've made to decision to at least postpone my weight loss journey, till I get both my teeth and my heart sorted. I'm annoyed, ashamed and more than a little disappointed to give in like this, but I need to focus on improving my short term health before I start thinking about more long term concerns. It's a shame because I really think I was starting to make progress with the XLS Medical Max Strength system* - I'd lost around 12lbs and I was feeling really positive about the whole thing but it can't be helped. I'd already bought some more capsules when they were on offer so I'm ready to get back on it hopefully in the new year when I get myself pulled together.

I really hope this hasn't come across as an oh woe is me post, although I suspect it probably has, but I just wanted to let you know what's been going on and why posting has been a bit erratic and why I haven't been posting as many recipes or weight loss updates.  Knowing that you guys are there on the interweb really keeps my going at times and it gives me something to focus on when real life is getting in the way. If you're a new reader I don't write posts like this that often so I hope I haven't scared you off! I'm making no promises as to the regularity of posts at the moment but all I'll say is I'll post when I can. I have quite a few post ideas floating around that will hopefully come to fruition before Christmas including some long overdue press sample reviews, some festive gift idea reviews, some hauls, a recipe that I might not be able to eat but I can assure you is amazing, and my usual big festive giveaway.so I hope that you'll stick around and be patient with me. Thanks for reading and of course thanks for being there x

*Samples

My Weight Loss Journey Featuring XLS Medical Max Strength* - Part 2

It's been a little while since I posted a weight loss update so I thought it was about I did a little post to let you know whats been going on.

I started my new weight loss programme with XLS Medical Max Strength, with a huge amount of enthusiasm and willpower and by the time I published my first post, which you can read here, I'd already lost 5lbs, fast forward over a month and a half later I'm only 8lbs down, so what happened?

Well the usual thing for me - illness. The chest and lung infection from hell, attacked my system for over 3 weeks, so dieting was pretty much out of the question, my immune system was shot and it needed all the help it could get. Throw in a family bereavement and another relative being in intensive care and to be honest I'm surprised that the scales are still showing an overall loss.

From this week though I'm back on it, I'm keeping an eye on my calorie intake, I'm keeping a food diary and or course I've started taking my XLS Max Strength supplements again.

I promised in my last post that I'd tell you a little bit more about the supplements and how they work, so here we go x I'm not going into too much detail but basically what XLS Medical Max Strength is, is weight loss aid that can help users reach their weight loss goals up to 4 times faster than diet and exercise alone.

How it does this is by the inclusion of a patented, gentle, organic plant based complex, Clavitanol, which reduces the break down and absorption of dietary carbohydrates, sugar and fat, which in turn leads to a reduced calorie intake. It also helps to stabilise blood glucose and insulin levels which helps to reduce food cravings.

This product has been rigorously tested, and the plant based ingredient is gentle on the system. Full instructions and contra indication information is supplied in every box and all you do is take two tablets, about half an hour before you eat your two main meals of the day, you even get a nifty little pillbox for when you're on the go. Unlike some weight loss supplements I've used in the past these don't seem to have any of the nasty side effects such as diarrhoea or nausea, in fact all I've noticed is a little bit of bloating.  

Although it sounds good these tablets aren't for everyone and for good reason. Supplements like this are for people that have a weight problem and really need to lose weight. For that reason you need to have a BMI of over 18.5 to take them. It's also only recommended for adults over the ages of 18 unless it's given under the supervision of a GP or a dietician, and it goes without saying that it isn't suitable for women who are pregnant or breast feeding. If you're diabetic its also recommended that you consult a health professional before use as the tablets can interfere with medication, but to be honest before you take any form of supplement or pill you should always consult with your GP even if you consider yourself fit and healthy.

So I'm back on it and with just over 2 months supply of tablets remaining, I'm going to give it my best shot x I I'm looking forward to receiving some support and encouragement from Jodie Reif who is a registered dietician and in house dietican for XLS Medical Max Strength, and of course from you guys x  I want to thank you all as per usual for your support. From next week, weekly weight losses (or gains!) will be appearing again every Monday on my Instagram and Twitter page so don't forget to follow me, and in a month I'll do another update post for you x You can find out more about XLS Medical Max Strength by visiting their website and if you have questions about my journey please let me know x 

*Sample

My New Weight Loss Journey Featuring XLS Medical Max Strength* - Part 1

I guess I'm beginning to sound a bit like a broken record with so many false dawns and false starts, but last week I restarted my weight loss journey.Over the last 12 months or so it's been a bit stop / start but on my birthday of all days I decided that I needed to make some changes in all areas of my life.

Why weight loss? well I'm officially classed as obese, bah humbug you should be happy what ever your size, people shouldn't be labelled and all that. Fine if you're happy and you have that self confidence but not so much if you're like me and looking the mirror at times makes you feel miserable.

Recently I attended a press event and I the night before I literally burst into tears as I tried to find something that looked decent and didn't highlight my wobbly tummy and my bum. Okay I was probably being a bit dramatic but if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, all the reassurances and common sense in the world won't make one bit of difference. Believe me I've tried, I admire and love so many plus size / eff your beauty standards bloggers but when you're hating on yourself as much as I have been lately it's impossible to see anything positive about the way you look.

I've never had a lot of self confidence, or confidence in my appearance, even many moons ago when I was a size 8, so why do I think it will make a difference now? Well I'm older and maybe a little bit wiser, I know that being a bit slimmer isn't going to change my life dramatically but I need to at least give it a try for my health, if not for my self confidence.

I didn't want this to be an Oh Woe Is Me post, so I'm sorry if it's heading that way but losing weigh isn't the easy thing that some people make it out to be. It's a physical and emotional journey that effects every part of your life

I've been told on many occasions by my GP and my hospital specialist that it's will be hard for me to lose weight due to my illness, lack of exercise and my medication but I'm going to give it my best shot and I fully intend to prove them wrong.

So how am I going to be doing it? Well pretty much the same way that I've done it in the past, watching what I eat, making healthy choices, and less snacking. I did consider trying a slimming club but the expense put me off and I know that this method works for me - Many moons ago I lost 4 stone doing something similar so despite the obstacles now in my path I know it can be done.

This time round though I do have a little bit of a support. A month or so ago now I was invited down to London to meet Denise Van Outen, who is the brand ambassador for weight loss tablet XLS Medical Max Strength. Unfortunately because I'm a northerner travelling down to London the majority of times just isn't possible so the PR company gave me the opportunity to take part in the week XLS Medical Get Back To The Real You, 12 week challenge, and sent me three months supply of the XLS Medical Max Strength supplements*

Diet pills and supplements have always been controversial but for me I need a kick start. I'm going to talk more about what they do and who they are for in a future but be rest assured these aren't just some random pills I've got off the internet. XLS Medical are the biggest weight loss brand in Europe and their products are available in most major pharmacies. My BMI is high enough and I've checked with my GP so I'm good to go.

I'm not going it alone though, every person who buys XLS Medical Max Strength can either log onto their website or download the app, and register for their free support programme, to get support, meal tips and advice from their in house dietician Jodie Relf. I'm going to be speaking to the XLS team once a week via email and I think that their support will be invaluable.

I've been taking four tablets a day for the past week, and in my first week I've lost 5 pounds. Have the tablets helped? I'm not sure yet but I've experienced no side effects as yet so all's well. I'm not going to be doing a weekly update post or anything like that, instead I'm going to be updating my instagram every Monday with how much I've lost or gained, and I'm going to be doing a monthly post to keep you updated. My next post will be in around four week time and as well as updating you on my progress I'll also be explaining a bit more about XLS Max Strength how they work, the science behind them,and who can use them, but if you want to find out more please have a look at their website x

So although I'm going down a slightly controversial route to some, hopefully it's going to give me the kick start that I need x Thanks for your support as per usual and thanks for reading and I'll see you soon with either a beauty or fashion post depending on how I'm feeling xx

*Samples

My Final Weight Loss Update - 11 Months In And Still 27lbs Down! - Honesty, Regret And Moving On

I'm going to apologise for the honesty within this post if that isn't your thing feel free to click the cross and come back tomorrow for some beauty cheeriness. Try as you might life isn't always a bed of roses though and sometimes you just need to share.

I started 2014 with the best intentions I wanted to deal with my excess weight once and for all. Up until April I did well by and large I ate healthily with the occasional treat, and as expected the weight came off. The problem I guess started with my birthday I got out of the healthy sensible eating pattern, it showed, and I gained a few pounds.

I did manage to lose most of  and I really tried to get back on track but for some reason it just never happened. I don't want to make excuses but medication changes, stresses, and periods of ill health all played their part, and over the last 4 months or so I've really struggled to lose any weight at all. I've become one of the yo yo dieters, gain a pound, lose a pound, and repeat, and repeat, so when I weighed in this morning I was exactly the same weight that I was at end of September.

I guess I shouldn't be too disappointed after all I haven't gained anything really for 2 whole months and I should be starting 2015 weighting less than I did in 2014, but I am. I started this year so well and it just all seems to have fizzled out. People who started their weight loss journeys at the same time as me have streaked ahead of me and whilst I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, to be honest I feel like a bit of a failure.

At the start of the year, the idea was to use my blog to inspire me on my weight loss journey but lately it's done the exact opposite. When the numbers stop changing, the pounds stopped coming off, and the posts started to become repetitive I almost felt as though I was letting you down. I know that's daft but losing weight for a lot of people is very much a mental thing and if your feelings about it change then it inevitable that the outcome will change too.

I'm not saying that documenting my journey on the blog is the reason why I haven't done as well as I'd hoped but I need to make a fresh start. I'm not the type of person that gives up easily so my weight loss journey will continue. Yes I'm going to allow myself treats over Christmas but from January operation weight loss will be back on.

I'm going to make a serious effort to develop a better relationship with food, and getting back into regular mealtime routines is a must. I'm also hoping that the Thinking Slimmer system will do it's thing and help me achieve a more positive mind set again when it comes to food and weight loss. It helped me so much at the start of this year and in the early days of my journey way back in 2013 and fingers crossed that it will make a difference this time round.

So nothings going to really change, well, apart from the fact that I'm no longer going to be documenting my journey on my blog. The monthly weight loss updates are no more and my update page will disappear from today. I hope you understand my reasoning but I will still be updating my instagram page as and when if you're still interested.

I want to thank you all for your support over the last 11 months, and despite what I've said I really appreciated every tweet, piece of advice and every encouraging comment. Onwards and upwards, as they say or downwards in my case x Thank you for reading and thank you for being there x

(Various Thinking Slimmer Slim Pods Have Been Provided For Review / Promotional Purposes)

Weight Loss Update - 10 Months In - Still 27lbs Down

If you been following my weight loss progress over the last month both on instagram, and via my weight loss page, you'll have noticed that I haven't updated either. I could make excuses as to why but to be honest what's the point. The truth is quite simple - I haven't weighed myself for a whole month.

I have had so many other things on my mind this month, and I've been so busy doing lots of new and exciting stuff, that thinking about what I've been putting in my mouth just hasn't been that important, to me. I've had one of those months where I've eaten exactly what I wanted, without a thought for the fat or calorie content. It hasn't all being bad as I'm sure Friday's Foodie Review Of The Month will prove but nothing was off limits.

Admitadly I've started the new month at the same weight that I ended the last, so it's not all bad, but I really feel as though I'm on runaway train at the moment when it comes to weight loss. I have a horrible feeling that if I don't start putting the brakes on, I'll undo all my good work from the beginning of this year, and end up back where I started.

Being so busy I guess has highlighted one of the reasons why I struggle with food and weight loss. Because of my varying illnesses and conditions I have really irregular sleep patterns, bad enough on it's own but it also has a knock on effect on meal times. I really struggle with the 3 meals a day thing - Because I have trouble sleeping at night I often don't get up till at least lunchtime meaning that I'm missing out on at least one meal a day. The sensible option would be to replace that meal properly but more often than not I just graze or pick at food instead.

It's easy to blame my illness for so much but I'm making a real effort not to let it define me anymore.
The sleep problem won't be solved overnight but I know I can make a real effort to get out of my rut and change how I eat. Not only watching what I put into my mouth but also by trying to eat regular meals rather than just the one a day and a pile of snacks. ,

It's not going to be easy but I think it's the only way. I did so well at the start of the year by eating two or three good meals a day and cutting down on my snacks so I know that I can do it. So from today I'm calorie counting, and I'm back listening to my Slim and Chill Pods and I'm really trying to get back on it.

I've been a crap role model with this one, I know, but I always said that this would be a hard and long journey for me, and so it proved. I promise I will keep my instagram and my blog page updated for you so you can see how I'm getting on x Thanks for reading and for your support and I'll see you tomorrow with a beauty review x

(Various Thinking Slimmer Slim Pods Have Been Provided For Review / Promotional Purposes)

Foodie Friday - Diet Coke Quorn

Happy Halloween hope your having a spooktastic evening, I've had a busy afternoon carving my pumpkin, and making my traditional Pumpkin And Toasted Sweetcorn Soup, and my Spicy Mexican Cornbread - Yummy! I thought about making something spooky themed but instead for today's Foodie Friday post I'm going to give you a recipe that's been requested quite a few times.

Way back in January when I started my weight loss journey, I went on the hunt for new low fat, and low calorie recipes to add to my repertoire. Although I don't follow either Slimming World or Weight Watchers I've really enjoyed cooking and trying out some of the recipes that people on the pans use. Obviously their own websites are worth a look but I also found a few gems via instagram and google.

One of the strangest recipes that I found was for Diet Coke Chicken! The idea isn't really that new though, Nigella has been doing here ham in Coca Cola for years and speaking to several people that have tried it, it's amazing. Odd sounding I know but Cola is quite a sweet, spicy drink, full of clove, nutmeg and cinnamon, which adds real flavour and depth to anything that it's cooked with. Obviously being vegetarian I couldn't use chicken but I saw a few people make it with Quorn pieces and fillets so I thought I'd give it a go. 

I wasn't really sure about putting this recipe up because it's not really mine. You just have to look around on the internet to find a zillion different versions of this recipe. Every time I've posted a picture on here or on my instagram though I've been asked for the recipe so here you go. This is my interpretation, it's still quite healthy though but I'll tell you later how you can make it less or alter it to suit your own tastes.

Diet Coke Quorn

10 Spray Of Fry Light (I'm Using Garlic)

4 x Cloves Garlic- Roughly Chopped

1 x Onion - Roughly Chopped

2 Sticks Celery - Finely Chopped

2 x Carrots

1 x Courgette

1 x Pepper - Red, Yellow, Or Orange

300g Quorn Pieces - Defrosted If Frozen

1 x Tin Chopped Tomatoes

200g Mushrooms - Roughly Chopped

330ml Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, Or Any Other Diet Cola

1 Tsp Chinese 5 Spice Powder

1 Tbsp Soy Sauce

1 Tbsp Tomato Puree

1. Spray your Fry Light into a large pan, I'm using a large saute pan here but a casserole dish or pan would probably be better. Add your garlic, onion and celery to the pan and cook over a medium until the onions are soft and translucent

2. Roughly chop your courgette and carrots, You want everything to be roughly the same size so cut them both length ways, then slice. Add those to the pan and cook for a few minutes x

3. Then roughly chop your peppers, I have a combination of red orange and yellow here because I was using mini ones. Add those to the pan and cook your vegetables for about 5 minutes.

4. Then add your mushrooms, and cook for about 10 minutes, your pan will be quite full but don't panic the mushrooms and the vegetables will continue to cook down and soften.

5. Finally your Quorn Pieces, you could add them at the first stage but to be honest you don't really want to crisp the, you want them to absorb all the flavours, so adding them now works fine. Pop a lid on for about 10 minutes.

6. Add your tinned tomatoes

Then your Chinese 5 Spice powder. This is a fab herb and spice blend containing cinnamon, cloves, fennel seeds, star anise, ginger and black pepper. It's quite strong and quite aniseedy, so if your not sure add less that I do,you can always add a bit more later.

Then add your tomato puree, and your soy sauce.

7. Stir it all together and then add your Diet Coke. I'm using a bottle of Pepsi Max here which I've measured out but any diet coke type drink works. In fact I think the cheaper ones work better because they usually have a bit more of a cinnamon or clove flavour. 

You might not be able o fit it all in at once but just let it reduce a bit and then add so more.

8. The cook over a low / medium heat for at least an hour. The sauce, will have reduced, thickened and darkened. Have a taste and then you can add more 5 Spice or soy to taste.

Done - serve with either rice, pasta, or even fried rice. This recipe makes 4 very generous portions, and it will keep for a day or so in the fridge if you have left overs. Simply reheat in a pan or in the the microwave adding a little bit of diet coke or a bit or water.

Simple as it's very easy to adapt to suit your own needs and tastes. You can use whatever vegetables you like, this just happens to be what I usually have in the veg basket. You can also vary the flavouring although I do think that 5 Spice gives it a great flavour. You can also add a bit of chilli or some Worcester sauce to give it a bit more of a kick. The original recipe used tomato passata instead of tinned tomatoes but that gives a much more sauce based dish, but it's up to you. ou could also use Quorn Fillets or chopped up Quorn Roast and it goes without saying you could use chicken or gammon.I'm trying to be health conscious here but if you want to throw calories or caution to the wind you could use oil instead of Fry Light and of course you could use full fat and full sugar coke.

I was really sceptical about this dish when I first made it but it's become a really favourite and Me and Mummy Lou now have this at least once a month. If you haven't tried it yet I'd definitely recommend you give it a go, sometimes it pays to experiment x Happy Eating xx