When Life Gets In The Way - Family Illness, Covid, Mould, Guttering And A Poorly Cat*

I once made a pledge on this blog to stop apologising for disappearing, repetition and lack of posting, and whilst i guess this is a bit of an apology (what can I say I'm one of those people who always says sorry even when it's not my fault!), it's more of an update and explanation as to what's been going on in my life over the last month or so and why I've been neglecting the blog.

With several bereavements and my own health struggles, it's safe to say that I'd already ranked 2023 pretty highly on the shitty year index, but throw in what's been going on over the last couple of month and it's probably at the top of the pile!

If you follow me elsewhere on social media (updated links in the sidebar if you don't), then you'll know that my mam has been pretty poorly. She was admitted into hospital towards the end of July with the same old, same old, some sort of infection, that course through her body leaving her with a raging fever and unable to walk. They did the usual, blasted her with antibiotics only this time she suffered a reaction to one of them so they had to switch it and start again, after a couple of days she was heading in the right direction, and I was preparing to go in and see her and then everything went wrong.

As is common with especially elderly people she suffered a spell of infection related delirium and confusion. To say I wouldn't wish that 24 hours or so on anyone would be an understatement. She called me and various family members multiple times alternating between crying and ranting, from seeing things that weren't there, to having no idea of where she was, to refusing treatment and not letting the hospital staff touch her - it was horrible and utterly heartbreaking  I really can't thank the staff and University Hospital Of North Durham, and my family and friends enough, and of course everyone who replied to my Instagram stories on the day. I spoke to several nurses and one doctor over the course of the day and they assured me that once they got a handle on the infection she would improve, and thankfully that's what happened. I didn't speak to her again until the next lunch time and whilst she was still confused she had much more of a grip on reality, and was cooperating with staff again, and by the time I spoke to her again that night she was nearly back to normal, although completely mortified with how she'd behaved. 

Thankfully she continued to get better, well at least until she caught covid! They weren't 100% sure if that was the cause of the original infection or whether she caught it whilst she was in hospital but thankfully bar a hacking cough, distorted taste and smell, her oxygen levels remained good, and after 11 days in hospital she was allowed home. It took her another week to test negative, and about another 3 to get back up to speed but she's doing well, she's been given some more medication for bone strength, and the hospital have been in touch with social services to get some hand rails put up outside to help with her mobility and access to the drive, and the car.

Obviously this was a major mental screw up for me, it's bad enough having one relative in hospital at once but at my godmother was also admitted in the same week, and whilst she was released after a few days it was really tough for me. On that Sunday I really felt as though I'd lost my mum, to be scared to speak to her because at that moment in time she was as far away from her normal self as it was possible to be was terrifying - thankfully as I stay I had some support at the time but dealing with it afterwards in my own head has been tough and I'm not going to lie I've struggled - but as my mam says I'm a lot stronger than I think I am, and at last I think I'm beginning to realise that.

With my mum being poorly and getting some much needed rest, I've obviously had to step it up and take on all of the tasks that need to be done on a daily basis in order to keep a house running smoothly, so given that my physical and mental health sap so much of my energy as it is, I've pretty much been running on empty, but you know why not kick someone when there down!

For a little while I'm been smelling a sort of musty smell in my bedroom, sort of like damp, so eventually admitted defeat and investigated only to find a patch of mould on the wall - arghhhhhh! so everything to be moved to I could treat it and if you have any mould in your house be it on the walls, or bathroom tiles then you need to get this stuff from Amazon, it makes your house smell like a swimming pool but it was gone without any scrubbing or effort in less than an hour, and my shower tiles are now gleaming as well! We knew we had an issue with the guttering so we got someone out to have a look at it and it's much worse than we anticipated - it's leaked under the fascia and into the cavity wall, and the roof joists hence the patches of mould in various other rooms in the house - it never rains but it pours literally! Bye bye several grand grrrr!

Oh yes, I almost forgot, the title of this post also mentioned a poorly cat, well if all of that wasn't enough, Charlie developed some sort of infection in his gums, so after a few days of hiding, hissing, and not eating, a antibiotic jab, and a course of oral anti-inflammatories, and antibiotics, and some special dental food, and a pretty little vet bill, he's thankfully eating and back to his fluffy self - phew!

So hopefully that explains my absence, I've been so mentally and physically drained that I just wasn't up to blogging, or doing pretty much anything else come to think about it, but (touches every bit of wood in the house and crosses my fingers very tightly!) hopefully the stars are realigning and things are returning to normal or whatever normal is, so I should be able to start getting a few more posts up, starting with an empties catch up later this week x 

Again a huge thank you to all of you who've contacted me on social media over the last month or so and thanks again for sticking with me x 

*This Post Contains An Affiliate And A Non Affiliate Link

Twas The Night Before Christmas And Things Really Haven't Gone To Plan...

So here we are x There is only one more sleep till the big day, and I have to say for the first time in a really long time I don't feel that festive. If you follow me on Instagram or if you're a fan of my Facebook page, then you'll already know that my Mam was rushed to hospital earlier this week thankfully she was discharged last night but she's still on a lot of medication and she's still feeling exhausted and pretty under the weather. Unfortunately we've made to decision to have a much more low key Christmas Day celebration with just the two of us, and a scaled back vegetarian Christmas dinner cooked by yours truly!

I love tradition and routine at Christmas time, so I'm feeling a little bit emotional and uneasy with all of the changes, and I'm really going to miss spending the day with my godmother, I did see her today though which was nice but It can't be helped these things happen, my Mam's health is more important and I'm going to try and make it as nice as possible for her tomorrow x 

I know Christmas is going to be another strange one for a lot of people this year, so please do what I'm doing and try to remember that it's just a day, and a very hyped day at that. Things don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to force yourself to be happy - life doesn't change just because it's Christmas Day - So if you're on your own - head to Twitter where Sarah Millican is doing her annual #JoinIn, I'll probably be floating around on social media for most of the day - probably sharing my culinary stresses, and if you really do need someone to talk to, don't forget there is always someone out there to listen, it's okay not to be okay so reach out if you need to x 

So although it won't be the Christmas that so many of us had planned this year, if you're celebrating this year I hope you have the best day possible x  I will hopefully see you sometime over the festive season with an overview of this years Glossybox Advent Calendar, and maybe another post or two, so from me to you, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas x

*This Post Contains An Affiliate Link

Life Lately - You Are Stronger Than You Think

2018 YOU SUCK! and that dear readers is an understatement - I went AWOL and yet again I have not but several good reasons!

Over the last 10 days are so things have got progressively shitter in LouLouLand, it all started off a week past Monday when my MacBook wouldn't start up, basically exactly the same problem that caused me to take into get repaired way back in January, even though they won't admit it officially High Sierra is very glitchy on certain MacBook Pro Models! Thankfully the staff at my local Genius bar managed to get going again with only minimal data loss. Lesson to self - back up, back up and keep backing your data ! I went and bought an external hard drive and ever since then if I've changed anything, I've a backup just in case, I paid less than £70 but it's not so much about the money as the peace of mind.

I've was just getting into the groove, downloading things from my Cloud and installing a few programmes and apps, then bang, one of the worst things that could probably happen did!

On the early hours of Thursday morning my amazing was taken ill, I called an ambulance and she was immediately blue lighted into our local accident and emergency unit. I'm not going to go into too much detail but she spent around 4 hours having all different types of scans and tests before she was finally admitted to award. She's feeling a little bit brighter now but as yet we don't really know when she'll be coming home.

The NHS gets a lot of criticism, and the majority of it in my eyes is very unfair, so I just want to put this out there - Every person who both myself and my mum have came into contact with since last Thursday from the initial emergency handlers, to the paramedics, to the doctors, specialists, nurse, porters, and health care assistants has been amazing and both kind, and compassionate. The NHS isn't perfect for a lot of reasons but it's something that we in the UK should be immensely proud of and we all should be fighting to maintain the whole concept of "free" health to anyone that needs it. I don't think that some people realise just how important it is until they or some they love needs medical help.

So things have been pretty stressful, I've had so much to do, and I haven't been sleeping that well, and then low and behold something else went wrong! My heating broke! which meant no hot water and no heating. I don't usually feel the cold but maybe with being slightly in shock I was absolutely freezing! Thankfully we have an electric radiator upstairs, and an electric shower so I managed to just about keep warm, but I knew I'd have to do something so I ended up having to call out the heating engineer via my mams home service plan and by Sunday afternoon heat was restored.

I now it probably sounds like a little, and maybe silly thing to some but sorting out the heating was a really big deal for me. Maybe it's because of my illness I don't really deal with that sort of stuff that's my mam's domain and always has been even when my dad was alive. It's made me realise though that sooner rather than later I need to stop relying on people quite so much, and I need to start adulting properly. 

I'm an emotional person, and I wear my heart on my sleeve, I lack self belief, and self confidence and I've spent a lot of time think that I'm useless in every sense of the world but in the last 7 days especially I'm starting to think that maybe that isn't quite the case. Sometimes you need things to really test you before you realise just how strong you actually are.

Source

My mam has always said that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for and at long last maybe I think she's on to something. It seems as though I've faced challenges and obstacles from day 1 with some health issues at birth, my facial nerve paralysis, bereavement, family illness and of course with my own current health problems, but lets be honest who hasn't had to overcome some sort of obstacles in their lives. As the saying goes what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and personally I'm coming through every test and challenge, no matter how big or small, a stronger and more resilient person.

Things are shitty and we all wobble occasionally or a lot, but we all know that Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and after a crappy 10 days or so I'm still standing and although I've cried until I was sick, and really wobbled on occasions I'm pretty proud of myself with how I've dealt with everything that's happened. I was kicked hard but I stayed sensible and level when I needed to.

One of my biggest fears is being alone, and being an only child and a single lady heading into middle age being alone at some point could be a reality for me but lets be honest the majority of us are never completely alone. Okay, I might not have the type of relationship that you'd have with a partner, or that I currently have with my mum in the future, but from what I've found there are always people out there who have your back no matter what.

The love and support I've had from some of my closest friend, some of my online friends and from some of my family members over the last week has made all the difference in the world. Fine I'll always want a cuddle close relationship, but sometimes a simple text or a phone call can make everything just that little bit better in an instant.There will always be people who don't come through for you and whilst that hurts for a little while, from now on I'm more concerned with the people that care about me.

I can't say what the next few weeks, months or years hold for me but as I head towards a big birthday in a couple of weeks, I'm going to try and deal with whatever comes my way with a different mindset. Yes, I might be hurting, I might feel pain, I might laugh and I might cry but I KNOW that I'm a strong person underneath and I'll deal with whatever happens, when it happens, in the best way that I can.

Source 

I want to thank you for all the messages that I've had on my other social media channels, I really do appreciate all of your good wishes and I'm sure that my mam will as well x I was going to take a blogging break till all of this goes away but I've decided not to, I need something to take my mind of things so I'll still be posting as and when, and hopefully I should get at least one post by the weekend x Thanks again x  

Foodie Friday On A Saturday - No Bake Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake

This post is typical I suppose of how this year has gone, I don't post a Foodie Friday post for eons, and then when I do it becomes a Foodie Friday On A Saturday post instead. Ha! Ha! life fail in the extreme seems to sum up my year! Anyways I hope that you will agree, that this recipe was one worth waiting for.

I love cheesecake, I crave cheesecake on a regular basis, but as you probably know a lot of the ones that you buy in the supermarkets just don't cut the mustard - they are okay in an emergency but when you want the real I am, you can't beat a homemade dessert.

Baked cheesecakes scare me and as a vegetarian throwing gelatine into something isn't really an option so this no bake, vegetarian friendly number fits the bill perfectly. The recipe is very loosely based on a No Bake Raspberry And White Chocolate Cheesecake that a lovely lady that used to blog shared many moons ago. As long as you stick to the basic filling mix then you can use what every chocolate you like, and you can play with the flavours and the filling be it fruit, or even more chocolate. I made this recipe last week for my mam's birthday and I'm going to be honest this isn't one for the faint hearted - it's hugely calorific, very rich and very sickly, if you like your sweets to be sweet, then this is the dessert for you.

No Bake Chocolate Caramel Cheesecake

For The Base

100g Ginger Nuts

100g Chocolate Digestives

75g Butter (More For Greasing)

397g Tin Carnation Caramel

For The Filling

500g Full Fat Cream Cheese (Room Temperature)

50g Caster Sugar

180ml Whipping Cream

600g Milk Chocolate

65g Butter

1/2 Tsp Vanilla Extract Or Vanilla Paste

Large Bar Of Caramel Filled Chocolate or Soft Caramel Filled Buttons Or Chocolates

For this cheesecake you will need a very well greased, loose bottomed or spring form cake tin, around 23cm across, don't worry if it's a little bit smaller but if it's any bigger you might need to make a bit more of the base.

1. To make the base all you need to do is to crush your biscuits, either in a sealed bag with a rolling pin or if you have one, use a food processor, it's way easier on the arms and you get a more consistent crumb. Melt your butter and then add it to the crumb mix with a tablespoon of the caramel, and give it a good stir.

2. Now it's time for one of the grossest pictures that you will probably ever see on my blog ;) It doesn't look good but the combo of butter, caramel and biscuit crumbs, tastes fantastic. Try not to eat it though, because a cheesecake is nothing without it's base. Pour the crumb mix into your well greased tin, and then press it down evenly and firmly with either the back of a spoon or a potato masher to create a compressed, even crust.

Then either pop it into the fridge or put it in a cool place for around an hour to firm up

3. While your base is setting it's time to start on the filling. Put your chocolate into a large bowl, with your butter and your vanilla, and pop it over a bowl of boiling water, gently stirring until it's melted. Try not to get any water into your chocolate mix and make sure that your chocolate mix doesn't get too hot.

4. While your chocolate mix is melting, put your room temperature cream cheese into a large bowl, and then add the cream and the sugar, then mix it all together until it's smooth.

5. You don't have to add any more chocolate but I love the texture difference in my cheesecake so you can either add some ordinary chopped chocolate or you can do what I've done here and chopped up a large bar of soft caramel filled chocolate (this is Cadbury's Caramel), or you can use individual soft caramel filled chocolates. Pop the chopped chocolate into the fridge until you're ready for it.

6. By now your chocolate mix should be fully melted, give it a good stir to make sure that there are no lumps or solid pieces. It will be a bit thicker than normal melted chocolate due to the addition of the butter so don't panic if it looks a bit thick. Leave it to cool for a minute or two.

7. Then add your melted chocolate mix to your cheese mix, and carefully mix it together until it's smooth and full combined

8. Then mix in your caramel filled chocolate until it's evenly distributed throughout the filling mix.

9. Now it's time to start building your cheesecake, start off by putting a few dollops of caramel sauce on to your chilled cheesecake base

Then start spooning in your cheesecake filling mixture, alternating it with spoonfuls of caramel

Keep a little bit of caramel for the top and swirl it through your cheesecake mix. Then put it in a cold place or in the fridge for at least 12 hours, I left mine for around 24 hours to be on the safe side. Make sure that you put your tin onto a baking sheet or a plate and you can sometimes get a little bit of liquid escaping from the tin, and make sure that you cover the top to avoid anything dripping into the mix

10. Unlike a baked cheesecake or one containing gelatine, this cheesecake will never set completely solid. After leaving it to set though you will notice a definite difference in the texture. It will feel firmer to the touch. Then I guess you just need to be brave, run a palette knife around edges to loosen it, and then either unclip the side of your tin, or push it up from the bottom, and your cheesecake should come away easily.

11. If it doesn't come away evenly it's not the end of the world, it will still taste great even if it doesn't look it. If it comes out great well done you, smooth the edges off with a palette knife, and if you don't think there is enough chocolate or caramel in it already, then decorate it with a bit more, I used Cadbury's Caramel Nibbles here x

Then serve in small slices, it will be gooey as hell, that's just the way it is. Pop it back into the fridge in between ravishings where it will keep for a couple of days, if you can leave it alone that is.

Tips And Suggestions

• As I say providing you stick to the basic chocolate, cheese ration you can use what ever you like, the original version uses white chocolate and raspberries and white chocolate buttons in the filling instead of the caramel, and the milk chocolate and it's amazing. I'm also envisaging a milk and white chocolate swirled cheesecake, a chocolate orange one for Christmas, and maybe white chocolate with strawberry or passion fruit, or a chocolate and peanut butter version or a white chocolate version with crushed Oreos, or even a dark chocolate and salted caramel version, just use your imagination!
• If you think this version is too much then you can of course leave out the extra chocolate in the filling on the top and just use the caramel.
• Instead of Carnation Caramel you could also obviously make your own caramel or toffee sauce, or use a jar of Dulce De Leche, a salted caramel sauce or even something like Cadbury's Caramel Spread.
• I've made this with a combination of gluten free chocolate digestives and ginger snaps but you can use what ever biscuits that you like - digestives are obviously the preferred biscuit for cheesecakes but ginger snaps, bourbons and Oreos also work really well
• It's really important that your cream cheese is at room temperature, it just won't mix in well enough if it's too cold. It's also important that you use a decent cream cheese for this recipe you don't want anything low fat, and whilst supermarket brands do work don't go for their budget or value cream cheese, it just isn't creamy or thick enough.

Obviously this cheesecake isn't something that you would eat all the time, it's way too calorific and expensive to make every day but for a treat or for a special occasion it's well worth indulging in a yummy slice of homemade cheesecake. If you have any questions please leave me a comment and if you try this out I'd love to see your creations x 

Foodie Friday On A Saturday - My Mam's Leek And Potato Soup

I think I've mentioned this before but food has always been very important to me and my family, and as a result so many of my childhood memories concern food. From my grandma's amazing, homemade fresh cream cake, and welsh cakes, to eating my other grans meals on wheels sponge puddings and custard and Cheshire cheese food was an important part of my childhood.

My mam and dad also made so many things over the year that have ended up as real family favourites. Delights include flapjack (see my recipe here),  melting moment cookies, sponge puddings, chocolate ladybird cake and homemade leek and potato soup.

Just thinking about this soup makes my mouth water, it's warming, creamy and absolutely delicious, this is my mam's tried and tested over many years recipe. Apologies for the lack of pictures compared to my usual recipes, my lovely mummy kept forgetting to tell me before she moved onto the next stage lol

My Mam's Leek And Potato Soup

2 Medium Leeks (About 300g)

350g Potato

50g Butter Or Margarine 

1/2 Pint Vegetable Stock

1 Pint Milk

Salt And Pepper To Taste

1. Finely chop your leeks, and rinse well. Leeks can contain a bit of grit so make sure you give them a good wash, and then drain well.

Chop your potatoes into a small dice. These were nice, clean baby potatoes, so we just washed them and  left the skin on, but you can peel them if you prefer.

2. Put you butter into a large pan (we use the base of the pressure cooker as per usual in soup making) and melt slowly over a low heat.

Then add your leeks and potatoes to the pan, them give them a stir till there all coated in the butter. Then cut a circle of greaseproof paper to the size of the fan, and lightly butter it. Then put the paper directly on top the leeks and potato, to keep the steam and the moisture in and leave on a low heat for about 15 minutes until the vegetables have softened. Keep having a little peek and a stir, if it looks as though they sticking or burning turn the ring down.

3. When the vegetables have sweated down, add your vegetable stock, and then add the milk, then turn the ring up to a simmer, don't boil it as it will cause the milk to split / curdle.

 It happened a bit here but if it does don't worry about it, it will still taste great, and the blending should even out. Simmer for about about 15 minutes till all the vegetables have softened.

4. Then it's time to blend, you don't have to but for me it's an essential. I did it in a few batches in my blender, take care if you do it this way though because it will be hot you might want to leave it to cool for a while before hand.

5. After you've blended it return it the pan and reheat. Check the seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste, this soup benefits from pepper in my opinion.

6. Voila pop into bowls and serve x This recipe made 4 large bowls x It keeps for a day or so in the fridge but because of the potato I would be a little wary about freezing it.

This recipe is amazing it taste soooo creamy and indulgent, but it only comes in at around 240 calories for a large bowlful. Personally I think this recipe is amazing as it is but you could pimp it up even more by adding cream, using chicken stock, or even adding cheese or chicken or bacon. As with all soups though you can alter the recipe pretty easily, adding what you have, and varying the amounts and flavourings. This is a real family favourite in LouLouLand, and we usually have frozen blanched leeks in the freezer all year round so we can make it even when leeks are out of season. Are you a fan of leek and potato soup leave me a comment and let me know x 

Hospitals and Hauling

Hi Guys
I didn't plan to do a haul post before my holidays but I managed to haul without actually spending any money, more on that later though ;)
Yesterday my mum had a hospital appointment to see her surgeon about her knee replacement, it went pretty much as we expected and she's been given the go ahead to have her operation in January, the only problem is it won't be at any of our local hospitals, it will probably be in Bishop Auckland which is about 20-30 miles away! It's still in the same county but it will take some getting to for visiting, two buses + not good! Never mind as my mums says we'll cross those bridges when we come to them.
After sticking it out in the hospital for a few hours, we then headed off to Tesco's - we only wanted a few bits to last us the weekend but of course Louise had a ulterior motive, this particular stores sells Vivo cosmetics. If you read my review the other day you'll now that I wanted a few more bits, well Mummy Lou kindly got me a few bits using the words if you get it now you won't get it when we're away, hmm anyways I got a few things including two of the Baked Blushers:

Rouge Shimmer

and Peaches and Cream

I also got two of the pearl eyeshadows - Golden Leaf and Pale Gold

one of the lipsticks in Barely There

and one of the baked eyeshadow and blush palettes in Chocolate Box

I haven't got time to review these bits before I go on holiday but I will definitely do some reviews and swatches when I get back. I have to say though my first impressions are good, oh and if you enter my giveaway, I also got some Vivo cosmetics to add to the prize pile so don't forget to check it out x
As well as the hospital and Tescos, I also visited a few Boots stores on the hunt for the 17 Magnetized Nail Polish - can I hell find it? the assistants had no idea what I was talking about - total fail! Never mind I saw the make up was on 3 for 2 so I had a little guilt free splurge, guilt free because I used my advantage card point to pay :) I got 2 nail polishes from the new 17 collection A Woman Scorned - on the left - Revenge, and on the right - Fury

I can't wait to try these out it looks like I'll have to wait till I get back from my hols unless I change my polish everyday for the next 5 days though lol
As it was 3 for 2 I also picked something else up one of the Rimmel lipsticks from the Kate collection

Created by or inspired by Ms Moss, the one I went for was 03 which is the nude in the line.

Did I need another nude lipstick, definitely not did I want it yeah why not especially since I couldn't find anything else I wanted - I really wanted Revlon Facets of Fuchsia nail polish but my little Boots doesn't do Revlon anymore boooo. So that was my Friday, plans for this weekend tidying up a bit, finishing my packing, and posting and scheduling a few blog posts. Hope you all have a nice weekend and I'll try and pop a little review up for you tomorrow x Any questions please leave me a comment x

Pics From My Mams Birthday

Hi Guys I just thought I'd show you a few pics from my mams 70th birthday

                                      

She has a lovely day, with lots of visits from family members and a lot of love, and good wishes. We are both exhausted after yesterdays celebrations, just relaxing and eating leftovers, in fact I may even have a nap later. My mum would like to thank everyone for their birthday wishes yesterday, she really appreciated it especially from complete strangers xx